Certainly it doesn't waste words now, Terry!!
Forgive my lack of knowledge - but would it be better leaving the "all those years ago" till your last verse? Also if you break the last line "and you my love" into two - it gives you the option to repeat "my love" at the end of each verse. Or is that too structured??
I see it now
our old campsite.
A patched up tent
shady trees
and you
my love
Cheers
Shelley
Far Horizons
- Shelley Hansen
- Posts: 2269
- Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
- Location: Maryborough, Queensland
- Contact:
Re: Far Horizons
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
-
- Posts: 3394
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm
Re: Far Horizons
G/day Matt
You've gone into my little black book mate - can't wait to get you out in the Mulga somewhere - as long as you can't run too fast.
Cheers
Terry
You've gone into my little black book mate - can't wait to get you out in the Mulga somewhere - as long as you can't run too fast.
Cheers
Terry
-
- Posts: 3394
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm
Re: Far Horizons
After numerous false starts over the last couple of years I hope to head north at the end of the month, including a bit of swinging along the way.
Cheers
Cheers