HOISTED BY HIS OWN PETARD.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Wed May 04, 2011 11:42 am

HOISTED BY HIS OWN PETARD

They called him ‘the impaler’, for he impaled women’s hearts
like captured butterflies for a collectors prize.
He feasted on their offerings, drained the colour from their souls
then ignored them for soiled goods he did despise.

When fresh and sweetly innocent, and untouched by human kind
they held attraction to this evilest of men,
but once they withered on the vine in his myopic pale blue eyes
they were not worthy of his time again.

One wet Sunday in winter the moment of truth arrived
when he gazed into a shop fronts misty glass
and saw reflected there an older man, gray haired and paunchy,
all alone - an old stallion - turned out to grass.

The strong glossy physique of which he had been proud and vain
was no longer there – it had faded away.
No young filly pranced beside him as he walked the city streets
and he knew not one now who with him would stay.

His days were gathering dust just like a butterfly collection,
the lofty star now a dry star set to implode.
All he had left were memories and fuzzy recollections.
Moment of truth – seems he had passed his use by code.

Maureen Clifford © 05/11

mummsie · Post by **mummsie** » Wed May 04, 2011 12:32 pm

I like it Maureen, seeing my reflection in a shop front will never be the same.
Sue

Neville Briggs · Post by **Neville Briggs** » Thu May 05, 2011 10:22 am

.... them for he now them did despise.

Sorry to be a pain Maureen, but I stumbled over this line. Perhaps there's a way it can be said without changing the normal syntax,

Myopic means shortsighted. I was wondering if you intended to use a term related to mesmerising or hypnotic.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Thu May 05, 2011 12:19 pm

Thanks Sue - don;t go getting paranoid

I have altered that line Neville - it bothered me to - so I think this is a bit better. No I definitely wanted myopic as in his approach to women was extremely shortsighted by having a use and abuse mentality he ended up on his own with no one who cared for him at all.

Cheers

Maureen

Neville Briggs · Post by **Neville Briggs** » Thu May 05, 2011 2:34 pm

Fair enough. Sorry.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Thu May 05, 2011 4:14 pm

Nothing to be sorry for Neville - do you maybe think that it doesn't work???? I am trying to show not tell

and tend to be a bit myopic myself. Interested in whether you think it still isn't right.

Neville Briggs · Post by **Neville Briggs** » Thu May 05, 2011 4:58 pm

I try to avoid suggesting words to use, but what about

" then ignored them as..( something, something ) ......to despise " what do you think of that. I'll leave it to you to think what might fit in between.

ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

HOISTED BY HIS OWN PETARD.

HOISTED BY HIS OWN PETARD.

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