My Prostate Test

[Bob Pacey]

Have posted this before but after Stephens poem I thibk it is worth another look considering the subject.

Be A Man And Have The Test.

My Prostate Test

Mate I'd had this bit of trouble
There was something not quite right
I was going to the toilet
All through the bloody night.

And I couldn't pee when I got there
Ah well only just a trickle
I'd go back to bed then I'd be up again
I was really in a pickle.

So I went to see my doctor
To check on what was wrong.
I've only just turned fifty-nine
And I'm still feeling fit and strong.

"Now your at an age" ! the doctor said
"Where things can start to fail
We better check on everything
So hop up on the scale".

"You're a little overweight" he says
"Things are looking pretty grim
You'll have to cut down on the grog"
"Mate I've got news for him".

He poked me and he prodded me
He made me cough and hack
And take my deepest bloody breath
While he listened to me back.

My blood pressure, he checked that out
With this thing around my arm
"We'll check your blood for sugar
It can't do any harm".

Well things were going great mate
I'd started to get dressed
Then he said he'd have to do
A bloody prostate test.

"Lay here on the couch"! he says
My rear was all extended
I know now how those players felt
When Hopoate got suspended.

He stuck his finger in my date
It sent my sensors reeling
I jumped so high when he wriggled it
I left claw marks in the ceiling.

He pushed again and felt around
Said "things felt pretty stable"
He said I might feel like a pee
But I'd just done it on the table.

I'm sure that he was smiling
As I crawled further up the bench
I though, there's got to be a better way
My cheeks began to clench.

He said "a P.S.A. in blood test
Is a surer way of telling
This is just a nice quick way
To check for any swelling".

I couldn't get my strides up quick enough
I left skid marks on the floor
I'm sure I heard him laughing
As I bolted out the door.

Well they took me blood and checked it out
My P.S.A. was one point three
and my bladder was infected
See that's why I couldn't pee.

They say get tested once a year
So things are looking pretty grim
But I won't be going back again
At least mate not to him.

See I've found this lady doctor
Her hands are smaller than the rest
If they have to check me prostate
I might as well enjoy the bloody test.


Bob Pacey ( C )

[noelcauser]

The same thing happened to me Bob and I thanked the Lord I wasn't born gay.Not a nice experience.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Some are born gay, some become gay, and some have gayness thrust upon them.

[Bob Pacey]

For what it is worth I really don't think much about the benefits or otherwise If i can afford it and there is the remotest possiblilty of it being of benefit well I can see no reason not to have the test.

My family has a history of heart disease and high sugar levels as well so keep those tsts up to date every six months.

I'm gonna try to stay around as long as I can and be a nuisence to my kids.


Bob