Is Santa getting fatter?

[Stephen Whiteside]

Is Santa getting fatter, or what? Last year he got stuck in our chimney, and did quite a lot of damage. It's never been a problem before. The chimney hasn't changed, so...

I looked at having it widened, but that was not practicable. It's been repaired, and re-inforced a little, so I have my fingers crossed for this year. I looked at putting a grill across the top, but that didn't seem very friendly and besides, I was worried I might scare him off completely. The kids would never forgive me if I did that.

Why would Santa be getting fatter? It's a good question, isn't it. We just expect him to stay the same weight from year to year, but I imagine he has his ups and downs like anybody else. I ask myself if global warming could have anything to do with it - the melting of the ice-caps, and so forth. It's probably warmer up there in the winter, which might mean he's able to move around more - more trips incognito into hamburger joints in Alaska, Greenland and Siberia. Then again, if he's moving around more, you'd expect him to lose weight. Could go either way, I suppose. Anybody's guess.

All I know is he ruined my chimney last year, and I won't be impressed if it happens again. At the end of the day, the cost of repairs exceeds the value of the presents delivered - assuming I could simply sell them - which I can't, of course.

The reindeer play merry hell with the tiles, too. Several cracked last year, and quite a lot dislodged. I won't be impressed if it's a wet night.

Ah, Christmas. It's a stressful time, isn't it.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Hope your chimney is not blocked and your tiles not cracked this year Stephen If you have a good working dog it helps - the reindeers just keep circling