Desert Interlude - warning political incorrectness

[Maureen K Clifford]

No offence is intended by the politically incorrect phrase contained in this piece It is the terminology that is used.



DESERT INTERLUDE

Did you ever believe when we were just kids
that we would be soldiers one day?
Did you ever think that you’d actually kill
someone dead and then just walk away?
Did you ever imagine that you’d leave Australia
and walk miles on a foreign shore?
No neither did I, but we have. Here we are.
So how come you won’t talk anymore?

I’m just a bit scared John – are you scared as well?
Guess there's no cause to be feeling ashamed.
It’s the noise and the bright light of flares in the night –
like the whole bloody world is deranged.
There’s shrapnel and flares. bits of stonework and sand
and it’s all falling out of the sky,
and the screaming and yells like the bowels of the earth
have sprung open, just as we walked by.

It’s cold outside John, are you warm enough Mate?
I’ve a jacket I’m happy to share.
Why won’t you answer me? Why are you looking
at me with a blank vacant stare?
Think of the stories we’ll tell folks back home mate –
no more small town stories for us
we can tell of the battles, of how brave we were,
whilst around us our families will fuss.

And as morning crept over the distant horizon
not one Kookaburra he heard,
but another bloke came and took him by the shoulder
and said something he thought absurd.
Your mate John has gone and it’s time to move on,
we must leave him behind now old son.
There’s a war to be fought and an enemy sought
and we’ve got the towel heads on the run.

Pieces of the puzzle now fell into place
and he knew now why John hadn’t spoke.
Corroded emotions like rust went to dust
and his heart mourned a mighty good bloke.
He touched his mates face and closed his staring eyes,
of feelings he now had a dearth.
As the desert wind whispered, he heard kestrels cry
like sad souls departing from the earth .

He stood for a minute and said his goodbyes.
Heard soft on the wind like an angel’s sweet sigh;
Did you ever believe we’d be soldiers one day?
Go with God Mate, for neither did I.


Maureen Clifford © 01/12

[Glenny Palmer]

Oh Maureen you do break my heart at times. This is potentially an A-1 bonzaa bloody terrific poem! Give it a tickle with the Brasso love, & you would take out a major for sure.

Just terrific!

Cheeers
Glenny

[Maureen K Clifford]

WOW - Really!!! That is high praise indeed which I thank you for Glenny - and to think it just came from the daily prompts on my other site and took about 20 minutes to do. Bugger me

I'll have to look for the Mr Sheen. Wow I am still a bit gobsmacked by that

Cheers

Maureen

[Glenny Palmer]

....in fact...if I were you I'd have a chat with Manfred about how to get Eric Bogle to look at it....it has the ring of a cracker song. Now get polishing my girl....& pleeese run it past me when it's done?

[r.magnay]

...Hey Maureen, you and I lock horns on the odd occassion...or whatever the term for a bloke and a sheila bluin' might be....you know Sheilas not actually having horns... but anyway. I reckon this is pretty bloody good stuff! I stumbled over a couple of minor things which might be me not you, but I have to concur with Glenny, a great piece with lots of potential...best of luck with it mate.

...Eric Bogle told me my book was as Aussie as a Gum leaf...just by the way!....

[Maureen K Clifford]

Geez Ross keep this up and I'll need a bigger hat mate I take your comment very kindly - looks like I'll have to go shopping for a bigger bottle of polish.

Where to begin - what bits caused you to stumble???

We might lock horns Mate but never with animosity I hope - just differing opinions and suspect we are both a tad muleheaded - I don't like pigs so mule headed is an endearment in a matey kind of way...hope you understand that

Cheers

Maureen

[Maureen K Clifford]

Eric Bogle!!! Glenny - you're kidding aren't you - be still my heart. I didn't even write this one as lyrics although some I do.

I will accept your offer gratefully though of perusing the end result - as it seems now there should be an end result.

[Glenny Palmer]

G'daay Roscoe.....croc is well qualified to tell you what the 'term for a bloke & a sheila bluin' is Mate....I'm too much of a lady to say, but I'm sure he'll tell ya.
Always happy to help.
xx Glenny

[Trisha Patterson]

"Ditto" to all of the above Maureen! A beautiful poem! A couple of bumpy bits, but as they said, "polished" and it could be a winner!
Well done
Trisha

[r.magnay]

You're welcome mate, and no there is never any venom intended in our 'discussions'

Now as I said, it may be me not you but I stumbled a bit on the 3rd stanza 3rd and 4th lines, however, if I read it a few times it works OK, but I believe a competition poem needs to be right first time!
The other one that tripped me a bit was line 1 of the 5th stanza, perhaps 'Bits' to replace 'Pieces'....and no I'm not being a smart ar...m!...

Just a couple of things that tripped me, but hey....I'm no judge!