An Aussie Christmas

[Stephen Whiteside]

An Aussie Christmas

© Stephen Whiteside 16.02.2012

On the first day of Christmas, my sheila gave to me
An austrich in a gum tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my sheila gave to me
Two moccasins,
And an austrich in a gum tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my sheila gave to me
Three pies with sauce,
Two moccasins,
And an...

(Voice from over fence: "Hey, knock it off willya mate? We're trying to watch Neighbours!)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my sheila gave to me
Four barramundi,
Three...

(Voice from over fence again: Are you deaf or something mate? Knock it off, willya?

Narrator replies: What's wrong with you, mate? Doncha know it's Christmas? It's time for getting pissed and singing stupid songs!)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my sheila gave to me
Five XXXX stubbies! (Hey, where's the sixth? She musta drunk it already!)
Four...

(Sound of breaking glass, as brick comes through window.)

Right!

(Narrator disappears swiftly out back door...)

[Maureen K Clifford]

You'd better watch out or your neighbour will be telling you where to put your Christmas tree and how * something similar to the rough end of the pineapple and where it goes

Love your poem - its won me.

Cheers

Maureen

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Maureen. Yes, it's a beautiful time of the year, no doubt about it.