Homework As day turns Into Night

[Bob Pacey]

The ending day turns into night
soft breezes hint of failing light.
screeching blackbirds fill the sky
and to their night roosts swiftly fly.
peace drifts with the snow.

The night time dim it settles fast
the evening glow hangs on till last
silence fills the darkened sky
day turns into night.

The stars emit a sparkling glow
suns amber rays are setting low
The barn owl rises with the night
then sets out on its evening flight
nature always seems to know.
day turns into night.

Bob Pacey

[Maureen K Clifford]

You've got the idea Bob.

The last verse needs another line - bringing the total to 15 as in 5/4/6 and the refrain should come from your first line.

Might I suggest that you consider making all lines (with the exception of lines 9 and 15, the refrain) 8 syllables to match with your first line and consider perhaps altering around the first line to read -

Wheat stalks are swaying to and fro and the refrain as wheat stalks sway

then add in your extra line and you are home and hosed. Well done and thank you Bob for having a shot. I rather like these myself what do you think about them?

Cheers

Maureen