My Magic Footy Boots

[Stephen Whiteside]

My Magic Footy Boots

I won't say how I got them. It's not central to this tale.
Suffice to say that I was told they simply could not fail.
These footy boots were magic. When I placed them on my feet,
I'd have a range of skills and tricks immaculate, complete.

Perhaps they did improve my feet. It's hard to say for sure,
For when you're playing football there's a need for so much more.
Perhaps my feet were magic - you might say I'm hard to please -
But no-one told my ankles they were magic, nor my knees.

No-one told my calves or thighs, and no-one told my hips,
And when it came to kicking, I still had the football yips!
My handballing stayed dreadful, for I had no magic glove,
And while my colleagues played like hawks, well, I remained a dove.

I'd seek a magic helmet if I had my time again,
For what I think I really needed most...? A football brain!
So, heed my call. You need to face the problem at its roots.
Don't be fooled if you are offered magic footy boots!

Stephen Whiteside 02.05.2014

[warooa]

Forward this on to the Richmond Football Club

[alongtimegone]

Problem is Stephen, you tried them while playing the wrong game. Check out the Broncos and the Cowboys tonight. You'll be sure to witness magic ... boots and all.
Wazza