Buccaneer

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alongtimegone
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Buccaneer

Post by alongtimegone » Tue Jan 13, 2015 7:57 pm

There’s a story seldom told about a pirate captain bold,
who took a lithesome lady to his vessel.
Now as the tale goes, she was bereft of all her clothes
and in this state of mind she loved to wrestle.

So our randy buccaneer said to the lady “Dear,
it cost two ducats for your time tonight.
Tomorrow I am going where the four winds will be blowing
but for now I need some afternoon delight.”

Well, before he jumped in bed, our lustful buccaneer did shed
every item that he knew he’d not be needing.
But his cutlass he forgot. So excited; hot to trot
that one hurried thrust put paid to future breeding.

To say that this affected the climax he’d expected
truly is the understatement of all time.
And without an “Arrr” spoken, he looked down at what was broken;
just a shadow of this once proud part sublime.

“All the gold from our next plunder.” His voice boomed out like thunder
as the crew raced down from compass points above.
"Mind now where you tread." Remarks from crew best left unsaid.
Each aware this was a serious search for love.

“I see it!” cried a seaman “And it sure enough’s a demon.
I thought that tales I’d heard were all untrue.
Talk about the Jolly Roger there’s no way that you could dodge her,
but I think I’ll leave the picking up to you.”

So the Captain took his member and by way of burning ember
helped this new found wayward partner to adhere.
Took the maiden back to bed and I’m told she later said
“No way I'd ever leave this buccaneer.”

Heather

Re: Buccaneer

Post by Heather » Tue Jan 13, 2015 8:40 pm

That's hilarious Wazza. I laughed me head orf. You've taken the seaside theme to the nth degree. (I presume he was an Australian buccaneer ;) )

Heather :lol:

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Jan 13, 2015 8:49 pm

All the girls love a sailor :lol: but what happened to his parrot? :shock:

a raunchy, risque and rollicking good read Wazza - nothing like a bit of jolly rogering on the high seas ;)
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Bob Pacey
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by Bob Pacey » Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:41 am

Heard a joke about Buccaneers Wazza ? just cannot remember it now .


Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

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David Campbell
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by David Campbell » Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:59 am

:lol: :lol:

Shiver me timbers, Warren! Talk about splicing the mainbrace!

Cheers
David

Heather

Re: Buccaneer

Post by Heather » Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:27 am

Warren I've just added you to my list of interesting people I'd invite to my ideal dinner party.

Heather :)

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alongtimegone
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by alongtimegone » Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:50 am

Maureen the parrot was very embarrassed by all the carry on and flew away. :lol:

Thanks Matt. Glad to hear you got a giggle out of it. :)

Bob, If I'm remembering correctly, it had something to do with where a pirate keeps his buccaneers. :lol: :lol:

Yes David, I reckon it would tickle a bit. :lol:

Heather, before I accept, I'd like to know what's on the menu. :D

Thanks everyone, I had fun writing that one.

Wazza

Terry
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by Terry » Fri Jan 16, 2015 11:11 am

It doesn't pay to be careless when you have debauchery on your mind does it -
he had remarkable powers of recovery though didn't he.

Great fun to read

Terry

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Catherine Lee
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by Catherine Lee » Fri Jan 16, 2015 2:19 pm

:lol: :lol: This is a very enjoyable read Wazza and must have been great fun to write !

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Buccaneer

Post by Shelley Hansen » Fri Jan 23, 2015 8:20 pm

Goodness me Maureen - what HAVE you started???? :lol:

Cheers, Shelley
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