LOST IN THE BUSH

[Glenny Palmer]

Neville I am most impressed. The lyricism/use of language in this work of yours is really good. The mixed meter is great, & with a little tweaking would be spot on.
I love this piece, & wonder at what you could produce if free reign was allotted your imagination.

Cheeers
Glenny

[Maureen K Clifford]

Don't be such a boob Bob - it gets cold out here - some things stick out - hills are no different Once seen never forgotten.

[manfredvijars]

A great construct there Nevvie and a good use of mixed metre (handled well)
Carried the subject matter off with aplomb ...

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks Glenny and Manfred. I certainly value your opinions.

Apart from trying to produce something for my own development, I was trying to show the readers how I was having a go at stretching and varying the rhyme and metre.

I think that us bush poetry learners can do better if we realise that we don't have to stick to the unvarying tread of iambic fourteeners with end stopping rhyme, and there's a lot we can try in metric design without going off after the contemporary fashion of formless verse.


aplomb... makes me sound like a pompous old.....maybe you're right

[Terry]

Excellent Neville, I really liked that last stanza in particular.

Terry

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks for the comment Terry.

[r.magnay]

G'day Neville,
I have been out bush for a couple of weeks so I havn't 'been connected'..I love this! This is a good poem, a look from the other side....and probably a more realistic side if we are all honest! I believe there is no need to complicate things to make a good poem, this is proof.

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks for the encouragement Ross. I don't think that you would ever get lost in the bush

[william williams]

Thanks Neville Just found that one and good on you I like it

Bill the old Battler

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks Bill.