STARKEY'S WATERY ADVENTURE

[Jeff Thorpe]

The moral of this story is that hearing aids are not designed to swim.


STARKEY’S WATERY ADVENTURE

My Starkey’s going fine, now fifteen months have passed
since I took the plunge, bought him and I swear,
he sits in my right ear, don’t even know he’s there,
amazing how the time goes by so fast.

Speaking of plunges, the other day I did just that,
dove into a pool and swam some laps,
not my smartest ever move perhaps
‘cause in my ear was Starkey, where he usually sat.

I didn’t quite discern this till some twenty minutes later
when drying off on deck chair by the pool,
and with recognition, felt a complete fool
for Starkey seemingly had gone to his creator.

What to do, I didn’t know, the stress was quite intensive,
a scene that bordered closest to bizarre,
could a hearing aid respond to CPR
otherwise, this swim could prove expensive.

Mute would best describe what Starkey did present,
no reassuring sound when switch was flicked,
the swim an unwise action, myself I could have kicked,
a dip in haste with leisurely repent.

There I was, the day was shot, I’d drowned my hearing aid,
in future, “What was that?” would be my most used phrase,
hearing once again like searching through a maze,
wondering which words any speakers had conveyed.

Starkey lay forlorn and wet with not a lot of life,
his battery showing little sign of spark,
could he rise like Lazarus or glow like Joan of Ark,
a miracle was needed before I told my wife.

So I said a prayer for Starkey and left him in the sun
in the hope of spawning some activity
and if so, t’would be cause for great festivity
for at that time, by all odds there was none.

And you know what, that vitamin D was Starkey’s saviour,
a kiss of life to get him back on track,
I’d really thought the time had come to put cue in the rack,
when next thing Starkey’s on his best behaviour.

Now, a week later, Starkey’s good as gold,
his battery maybe needed just a shower,
not the time yet to play “Now is the Hour”,
Starkey’s surely come in from the cold.

A lesson learned, I guess, which could have turned out worse,
t’is lucky Starkey clung on to my ear
otherwise, he’d be lost forever, never fear,
a victim of the dreaded hearing aid aquatic curse.



Jeff Thorpe © 17 October, 2014

[Neville Briggs]

It might not have survived a dip in the salt water.

[Heather]

Gives new meaning to having water in the ears Jeff.

Heather

[Jeff Thorpe]

Hi Neville and Heather

I agree Neville - salt water would have signalled the demise. We were at the beach at Yamba and it could easily have occurred in the surf as in the pool at the unit.

Witty observation Heather.

Thanks for your interest

Jeff

[alongtimegone]

I never wear my hearing aids when I take the boat out, but twice now I've jumped out at the ramp with my mobile phone in my pocket and on neither occasion did it respond to sun or CPR. You'd think a bloke would learn. If it happens again I'm going to tell my wife I was mugged.
Wazza

[Jeff Thorpe]

The hearing aid's enough for me to worry about Waz. Many times I've jumped in the shower and just remembered in time to take it out of my ear. As I said in the poem, I'm so used to it in the ear now that I forget it's there.

Regards, Jeff

[alongtimegone]

The old hearing aid in the shower trick .. I do it regularly Jeff and like you get my head out just in time.
Wazza