The Bustard from the Bush

[warooa]

hank 030.jpg

This came from Plains Turkey's who roam around the sorghum crops and navy beans at Lakeland Downs.

THE BUSTARD FROM THE BUSH
©M. Pattie 2014


As the dawn was breaking calmly, came a fervent flap and whoosh;
from above descended on the plain The Bustard from the Bush,
and he puffed his chest and strutted ‘round, content with his surrounds;
he was happy with the look of such idyllic hunting grounds.

As the other birds and Bustards copped a brutal shove and push,
the new arrival said “I’m Four-skin Fred – The Bustard from the Bush!”
For he’d come from harsher country where he’d grown some extra skins,
just to deal with bush Goannas and Echidna’s prickly pins.

And the other birds, the Cockatoo, the Brolga and Galah,
they all saw this mongrel Bustard was the baddest bird by far.
But they thought they’d test his mettle just to see if it was true,
so they asked that Bustard from the Bush exactly what he’d do . . .

They asked “Would you steal a Plover chick and make its Mumma cry?”
“Yeah my oath, I’d rip it’s beak off just to make the time go by!”
“Well then what about a Stool Pigeon, who’s named after a turd?”
“Well I’d stick his stool back up his arse and flip the bloody bird!”

“Would you stalk a Stork or tell a squawking, shrieking Shrike to shoosh?”
“Yeah too right my bloody oath!” boasted the Bustard from the Bush.
Then he said “I’d drop a sloppy poop from high up in the sky,
and pinpoint Aunty Mabel’s fresh-baked crusty mornay pie.

"Would you cross an Albatross or fry a Friarbird by chance?"
"Why I'd frig a friggin' Frigatebird, and make a Brolga dance.
"And I'd aphrodise an Oyster-catcher back the way she came,
and then take a Bird of Paradise to where it got it's name!"

“And I’d fork a Hawk and growl an Owl with not an ounce of luck,
and I guess you know just what I’d do with Dot the freckled Duck!”
Then he picked a little filly out, with shapely Bustard toosh,
and he sidled up and slapped it hard, the Bustard from the Bush.

The he gargled out a bellow and he arched his neck and back,
and then fluffed his feathers all around his massive throaty sac.
Well it looked just like the Bustard had a softball in his throat,
as he bucked and fizzed and rollocked like a randy billy goat.

Well this Bustard chick, she bolted quick, with Four-skin Fred behind,
straight across the road, big Four-skin had just one thing on his mind.
But the Bustard from the Bush was ill-equipped to deal with cars;
even skin like suit of armour – it’s no match for farm bull-bars.

So he strutted on the plains no more, but made a meal instead,
did the Bustard from the Bush, the one they knew as Four-skin Fred.
And the Farmers tell the tale today and smack their lips and grin. .
for the tasty Bustard from the Bush with thick and crispy skin.

[Ron]

G'day Marty,
Now there's a parody that really 'talks turkey'!
A good laugh, well done mate.
Ron

[manfredvijars]

Now that's what I call 'style' Oh Cyclone Slayer ...
(In seven bloody foot iambic too) ....

[william williams]

very laughable marty.


bill w

[Maureen K Clifford]

Well done - I'm still laughing and love this line - it's a classic

“Would you stalk a Stork or tell a squawking, shrieking Shrike to shoosh?”

[alongtimegone]

“Well I’d stick his stool back up his arse and flip the bloody bird!”
Now that's poetry.
Love it Marty.........Wazza

[warooa]

Thanks all - just a bit of fun.

Marty

[Neville Briggs]

If only Henry had the imagination to do it that way in the first place.

[Heather]

That's a beauty Marty. Lots of fun.

Heather

[Terry]

Yea that's a good one and in a roundabout way fits in pretty well with the version I know.

A little bit of rejigging here here and there (just as well going on the version I know)

Really enjoyed that one Marty.

Cheers Terry