LIFE WITH A GECKO HUNTER

[Jeff Thorpe]

LIFE WITH A GECKO HUNTER

The spouse has had enough and war has been declared
against those bloody geckos, not one will be spared,
and any other rodents who get caught in the strife,
leave our house this instant for the carnage will be rife.

We’ve suffered once before from a blunt gecko offensive,
damage extensive, and for Insurer quite expensive.
A gecko suicide bomber put the air con out of action,
but, this time she’s pre-emptive, no trace of inaction.

The chase has been refined, compared to what it was,
two methods now in use and this is just because
the foe is getting smarter and surely arrogant too,
brazenly teasing, dropping piles of gecko poo.

She’s like an Arizona Ranger with a Big Iron on her hip,
a can of Atlas surface spray so geckos give no lip.
Decked a few also and I really have to say,
a whiff would see them perish if perchance the spray’s astray.

Technique number two’s the Dettol/water combination,
pretty good too for gecko deportation,
then again, the house hums like an emergency ward,
coming home’s not really what one looks toward.

Another suggestion someone said, is to get a cat
however, on that issue we’ve been there and done that.
Confucius, a long term recipient of dinner, B & B
had no effect on geckos, least it seemed that way to me.

So, the skirmish does continue, what news from the front,
the daily bulletin gives a graphic picture of the hunt,
gecko numbers dropping, literally so I'm told,
Big Iron’s working wonders, worth its weight in gold.

Surface spray salvos pock marking the walls,
an extra notch in the can as a gecko falls,
fan is working overtime eliminating pong
cheer the Warrior Princess, she can do no wrong.

Further attributes she can add to the CV,
a graduate with honours of a pest control degree,
one more task to undertake as soon as she reloads,
switch the bout to outdoors and stand up to the toads.

Jeff Thorpe 19 January 2015 ©

[Maureen K Clifford]

Oh no - not the geckos! They are natures own little bug eliminators - not toxic, user friendly, cheap to keep and the little bit of merde they share is neither here nor there. I have never used anything in my old home other than geckos to keep out spiders, cockies, mossies, silverfish and never have a problem with them. I even photograph them Maybe I've been luck but I see them peeking from behind the a/c unit sometime but perhaps they live in harmony because they know they are welcome visitors.

Jeff I can visualize your missus rampaging through the house on gecko alert, your poem paints a gunny scenario - God help the toads

[william williams]

Struth Maureen randy little bugger aren't they

[Jeff Thorpe]

I'm afraid Suncorp would disagree with you Maureen, as well as the overwhelming majority of folk to whom I've shown this poem. The chirp of a gecko is a call to arms at our place.

Regards, Jeff

G'day Bill

That "coziness" only produces more of them.

Cheers, Jeff

[alongtimegone]

Hi Jeff, thankfully I've been able to keep them out of the house though they roam freely in the BBQ area. Cute little buggers as long as they stay out doors. By the way, Big Iron ... Marty Robbins How good is that album, Gunfighter Ballads...

To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business no one dared to make a slip
For the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip
Big iron on his hip

Love it... but I don't play it when my grand kids are around

[Heather]

I've got a gecko here for the first time in 26 years. Must be due to global warming.

[Jeff Thorpe]

G'day Waz

Yes, Marty Robbins and Gunfighter Ballads. I still have the vinyl LP.

Hi Heather

I'd have thought it might be a bit cool for them down your way. Send it up to Maureen.

Regards, Jeff

[Bob Pacey]

Big iron Big Iron for the stranger there among wore a big iron on his hip.

It was early in the morning when he rode into the town


A fixture cd in my car Wazza


Bob

[Jeff Thorpe]

Marty Robbins. Top stuff Bob.