LOST IN THE BUSH

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Glenny Palmer » Sat May 14, 2011 9:13 am

Neville I am most impressed. The lyricism/use of language in this work of yours is really good. The mixed meter is great, & with a little tweaking would be spot on.
I love this piece, & wonder at what you could produce if free reign was allotted your imagination.

Cheeers
Glenny
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Maureen K Clifford
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat May 14, 2011 9:47 am

Don't be such a boob Bob - it gets cold out here - some things stick out - hills are no different :lol: Once seen never forgotten.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

manfredvijars

Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by manfredvijars » Sat May 14, 2011 9:51 am

A great construct there Nevvie and a good use of mixed metre (handled well)
Carried the subject matter off with aplomb ... :)

Neville Briggs
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Location: Here

Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat May 14, 2011 10:49 am

Thanks Glenny and Manfred. I certainly value your opinions.

Apart from trying to produce something for my own development, I was trying to show the readers how I was having a go at stretching and varying the rhyme and metre.

I think that us bush poetry learners can do better if we realise that we don't have to stick to the unvarying tread of iambic fourteeners with end stopping rhyme, and there's a lot we can try in metric design without going off after the contemporary fashion of formless verse.


aplomb... :o makes me sound like a pompous old.....maybe you're right :lol:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Terry
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Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Terry » Sat May 14, 2011 11:27 am

Excellent Neville, I really liked that last stanza in particular.

Terry

Neville Briggs
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Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun May 15, 2011 3:21 pm

Thanks for the comment Terry.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

r.magnay
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Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 1:41 pm
Location: Port Lincoln SA

Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by r.magnay » Fri May 20, 2011 9:20 pm

G'day Neville,
I have been out bush for a couple of weeks so I havn't 'been connected'..I love this! This is a good poem, a look from the other side....and probably a more realistic side if we are all honest! I believe there is no need to complicate things to make a good poem, this is proof.
Ross

Neville Briggs
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Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat May 21, 2011 10:15 am

Thanks for the encouragement Ross. I don't think that you would ever get lost in the bush :)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

william williams

Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by william williams » Sat May 21, 2011 10:37 am

Thanks Neville Just found that one and good on you I like it

Bill the old Battler

Neville Briggs
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Re: LOST IN THE BUSH

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat May 21, 2011 10:43 am

Thanks Bill. ;)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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