Save a spot for me

ABPA Financial members can post their Bush Poetry here ...
All Forum Visitors can view but only Financial ABPA Members can post and reply.
User avatar
Bob Pacey
Moderator
Posts: 7479
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Yeppoon

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Bob Pacey » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:13 pm

Beautiful and simple Marty. I was the same with my Dad. hard to see such a tough man wasteing away.

Thanks mate brought back some great memories for me.


Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

Heather

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Heather » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:31 pm

Very touching Marty. I'm sure he would understand that you want to remember him the way you do and what's more important, that's exactly how he would want you to remember him. Great poem Martyboy.

Heather :)

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8153
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:53 pm

Reckon your Dad would be mighty chuffed with this...can see him sitting by the campfire with all the other blokes who are commenting on what a great bit of poetry that was that young Marty wrote - and your Dad saying nothing, bit of a grin on his face thinking to himself 'That's my boy.'

Terrific write and great read.

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat Jun 04, 2011 7:38 pm

I thought that was well done Marty.
I think your ability to work the rhythm of the metre is improving greatly ( hope that doesn't sound supercilious, it's meant be encouragement )
And the way you have used the enjambment (or wrap around, the sense of the lines running into the next line ) is excellent. That makes good variety in the rhythm and pace of the verse.
The theme is an all too often story. One of the most tragic ends to a life that I can think of.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Terry
Posts: 3394
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Terry » Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:46 am

G/day Marty,
I often stop to think of my dad, I was fortunate that although he lived a long life he never suffered dementia.

A touching poem Marty

Terry

User avatar
Zondrae
Moderator
Posts: 2292
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:04 am
Location: Illawarra

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Zondrae » Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:52 am

G'day Marty,

I didn't see my Dad for 14 years before he died. I have read the firstline of your poem. I can't get past that yet. My eyes keep melting or something. I'll get back to you later.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

mummsie
Posts: 1062
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:33 am
Location: Tumut, NSW

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by mummsie » Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:28 pm

Beautiful Marty, brought a tear to my eye and the memories of losing my Dad came flooding back. I dont think we ever truly appreciate the impact a parent has on our lives until we lose them.Your loss is felt in these beautifully written words.
Cheers
Sue
the door is always open, the kettles always on, my shoulders here to cry on, i'll not judge who's right or wrong.

r.magnay
Posts: 1405
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 1:41 pm
Location: Port Lincoln SA

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by r.magnay » Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:10 pm

G'day Marty,

A great poem, it would be nice to think we will be reunited with our loved ones one day, I sorta hope it is right but I am not too sure how I will go on judgement day. We are presently mourning the loss of my younger brother, MS finally won the battle he has been fighting for over 30 years, he was buried last week.....I wasn't present, it was a very hard day for me not being there, I was working away....it was a long day. I did manage to get down south and catch up with him a few days before he left us which was good...or as good as it can be....I am still struggling a bit, I would love to believe we will meet again one day. Your poem is great in that it suggests that they are not gone, just waiting, I hope you are right mate.
Ross

Heather

Re: Save a spot for me

Post by Heather » Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:13 pm

Life's a bugger Ross. Very sorry for your loss. Hope he went easy in the end.

Heather

Post Reply