A Poem About Something

[Stephen Whiteside]

OK, Heather. Here's a poem. (Bob won't like it, though.)


A Poem About Something

© Stephen Whiteside 13.03.11

This is a poem about nothing,
A poem ‘bout nothing at all;
No hero, no villain, no moral,
No point to it, not even small.

I don’t even know why I writ it.
I look at its lines now with scorn.
I tell you, I just want to hit it.
It died long before it was born.

It’s a terrible waste of good paper.
The same could be said of the ink.
To think that a tree was dismantled for this,
The guilt nearly drives me to drink.

Perhaps if I’d writ it on kindle,
I wouldn’t be feeling so bad.
Like a big ball of wool and a spindle,
We’ll soon see the ball-point and pad.

So it isn’t a poem about nothing.
It’s a poem ’bout the nature of change.

I attempted a poem about nothing,
But I found it was out of my range.

See, you can’t write a poem about nothing.
You could leave the pad clean as a bone,
But that’s not a poem about nothing.
It’s just nothing, all on its own.

So, take the advice of another,
Who fancies himself as a bard.
Make all your poems about something or other,
‘Cause nothing’s just too bloody hard!

[Heather]

Brilliant Stephen. Don't worry about Bob, Stephen, he's in Queensland ossifying away...

[Stephen Whiteside]

Yeah, the Queensland ossification rate is 4.2% above the national average. Probably something to do with the heat.

[Bob Pacey]

Hey come on you lot stop using big words! I have to keep going to the dictionary to see if you are insulting me or not.

I'll have you know that I did a lot of schooling and I liked it so much i stayed in some grades for a couple of years but then grade four was pretty hard


Clever Stephen Very Clever.

Oh does everyone call you Stephen or Steve ? I only get called Robert when I'm in trouble, which is most of the time.


Bob

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Bob.

Yeah, pretty much Stephen. Never been a great fan of Steve, though I do get it occasionally. Come to think of it, though, my best mate calls me Steve. Hmm. Interesting... He lives in Queensland, too...but he didn't always. Time for bed, I think.

[Bob Pacey]

I go to bed early every night Stephen but it is the getting up and going home that buggers me.


Yeah about that time I think mate see ya.

Bob

[Heather]

Bob, Stephen is definitely a Stephen, not a Steve. Most definitely not a Stevie.

[Bob Pacey]

I was thinking more Stevo the Devo ?????.

Thats just the Aussie in me coming to the fore.

Robere

[Heather]

I'm thinking not. Mad nutty professor maybe, but not Stevo...

[Leonie]

Very clever Stephen, as always, and you're right of course you can't write a poem about nothing. Your poem explains that very clearly.