WALTZ...IN THE COURTROOM

[Glenny Palmer]

This is the Bronze Swaggie winning poem I was whingeing about somewhere else on the site....for those who are interested. Curiously, even with my passion for getting kids involved in poetry, I hadn't thought of it as a prospect for same....so 'goodonya' to whomever it was that 'formalised' it for that purpose. I'd love to see it done some time....

‘Waltz….In The Courtroom’ © 2007 Glenny Palmer

‘Here!…’cried the silk with a digit high
and a fearsome look in his learned eye,
‘stands a man accused of a heinous deed…’
(and his pin striped girth with a lurch agreed)
that, ‘…a finer man never could be found.’
(while the magistrate in a sleep so sound
gave a grunt and a gurgle and yelled ‘sustained!’)
And the courtroom quivered and necks were craned…
and the bloke in the dock said, ‘Eh?’

‘This!…’ cried opposer in flowing robe,
with a measured tug on his left ear lobe,
‘…is exhibit A.’ There a flyblown sheep
(with a smell to make any glass eye weep),
cast a furtive glance at the exit door,
and the magistrate, with a swing, yelled ‘Fore!’
And the Clerk Of The Court muttered, ‘mmm, aha.’,
and the sheep shot through with a parting ‘baa’…
and the bloke in the dock said, ‘Eh?’

‘Well!...’ the defence, quite offended, cried
(with a tone affronted and amplified),
‘…what’s a sheep or two in a thousand mob?’
And the plaintiff yelled, ‘He could get a job!’
And the justice bellowed out, ‘Order!’ BANG!
while elastic knickers throughout went ‘twang!’
So The Clerk Of The Court made a cup of tea,
and the court adjourned until half-past three…
and the bloke in the dock said, ‘Eh?’

‘This!...’ cried the wig, re-establishing,
‘…is exhibit B.’ and he threw the thing
with a flourished hand, on the polished floor,
and that hessian sack harboured spuds no more.
So the cleaning woman, whose name was Ruth,
said, ‘I’ll have that rag.’ and the silk said, ‘Strewth…’
and he yelled, ‘go to buggery!’… ‘Over-ruled!’
(then the beak dozed off while the fight refuelled)
and the bloke in the dock said, ‘Eh?’

‘I…’ said the trooper when called to speak,
(though the judge’s snore made him hard to tweak)
‘…was astride my mount in my garb festooned…
(whereupon Miss Monk in the front row swooned)
‘…when I spied that bloke…’ and he pointed, ‘there.’
and the magistrate, in a trance said, ‘Where?’
so the Clerk Of The Court made a cup of tea,
and the silk said, ‘Oi, is there one for me?’…
and the bloke in the dock said, ‘Wot?’

‘Right…’ said the beak to the reprobate,
‘…can you show some cause that would mitigate?’
(and the courtroom clock chimed the hour of day
indicating tea wasn’t far away)
and the bloke said, ‘Wot?’ as he chewed his thumb,
so they all conferred on the best outcome.
He was sentenced to drown in a billabong,
and they’d hide their tracks with a silly song.
and the bloke in the dock said,… ‘once a jolly swagman…’

[worddancer]

Hello Glenny,

Thank you for posting your prize winning poem (again, according to Marty).

It brings to the fore an example of quality to aim for.

I love the rhythms you use to tell the tale; so easy to read.

Worddancer

A little humour in the courtroom might help a lot of legal-types to remember they are dealing with real people.

[Neville Briggs]

I've seen it before Glenny, but it is a masterpiece ( what's that for wopersons..mspiece ? )

I think you have gone well beyond just constructing a story in verse and have used the words to weave a sort of "word music". I think that is what we should aim for. You've done it

[Heather]

This is a fantastic poem Glenny. Loved it the first time I read it on the old forum and love it more now. Very pleased to have the chance to read it again.

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Do you have an audio of you performing it Glenny? Now that would be a treat.


Bob

[Glenny Palmer]

How dooo you do Worddancer. Lovely to 'meet' you, & thank you. The 'rythm' was bouncing in my head after reading something of CJ's...oddly enough in a living room in the UK. (I was homesick.)

Bless you (& your memory) Martyboy. It was 'What a Night' & it was indeed the Woolwagon award. It was about a chaotic country dance night. I seem to have an affinity with chaos. I do chaos pretty well...I must be skilled in that particular environment....

Goodness Neville. Me 'at won't fit me 'ead if you keep this up....but thank you very much. I actually think I've developed that 'word music' skill from the help I received from various husbands I've had. I've often thought what a good sitcom it would make....the cheese & kisses verbally machine gunning the old boy. You know...the white Anglo Saxon heterosexual employed male. (They only go to work to escape it you know.)

Hey up Heather! Strewth! Have I posted it before? I'm lucky if I can remember my own address at times...if it ain't in rhyme I forget. Thanks love.

Bobbo! I've got a link to an ABC doco on the award day, but I think all I did was blubber. However, some of the other headliners are on it, & really top value. I'll email it if you like. But....I was not in jeans & Akubra, tch tch, because on the last day of festivals, the gypsy hippie in me inevitably breaks through & forces me to wear something 'flowy'... to recover. So I'm in a flamin' sun dress....& TV cameras aren't what they used to be when I was 20 years younger....deep sigh.

Thanks all....you cheeer me no end.
Glenny.........now scroll to page 352.....

[Heather]

Gosh, now you've got me wondering if it is my memory that's going Glenny. Maybe it was on the old forum or maybe it was in the magazine but I'm sure I read it some place.

[Zondrae]

Glenny,

You're here. I mean you're not 'away' somewhere. I have been mentioning a chance to pass your way soon. I will have to get in touch with you.

[Terry]

G/day Glenny,
Have you ever considered doing an Aussie version of Gilbert & Sullivan, I reckon this one would qualify.
Enjoyed the read.

Cheers Terry

[vwalla]

Glenny

Luv it!

Should be in an Anthology of Best Aussie Bush Poetry!

Val W