One Hell of a drive - First one I posted as a member of ABPA

[Maureen K Clifford]

Got you up and running again Marty - good yarn this one folks - enjoy

Cheers

Maureen

[Maureen K Clifford]

I don't know what it is called Marty - but Good fits

[worddancer]

Hi and hello,
Have to agree with Maureen, Marty.

What very challenging Rhythm and Rhymes
The meter picks up its pace
My feet try to race
As this bounces along in the lines.

I heaved a sigh if relief as everything came to a halt!

I had fun reading this; as much I do when reading Mulga Bill's Bicycle.

Thank you for the spectacle, Marty

[Neville Briggs]

His first carriage driving event

His unflappable winning intent

He declared as a matter of fact

As they sauntered their way round the track

Since you asked Marty

The above lines ( and a few others ) are what is called anapest. It's a ternary ( triple ) foot or metre and is a good choice for a galloping rhythm in verse.
Robert Browning wrote a famous piece about horse riding in this type of metre;

"I sprang to the stirrup and Joris and he
I galloped, Dirk galloped, we galloped all three "

dee dee dum, dee dee dum. In some of yours, there is an extra beat at the front and in some an extra beat at the end, this is fine if you are careful where you place these. e.g. dee dum dee dee dum ( as Browning did ) and dee dee dum dee. as at the end of your line

On a breezy spring morning he entered

Usually in the bush poetry style, people make the metre in the first stanza and set out to match the rest to the same beat. I suggest that you read yours out loud and see if that is how it fits. Remember, the words make the beat and they should be pronounced in their usual everyday manner. And this is not a song in which any of the words can be stretched or
compressed to fit the accompanying music, the poem is the music beat.

Got all that ??


At least you are having a good go at a bush ballad. Keep at it. The only person who never made a mistake is the person who never made anything.

[worddancer]

hello Neville,
This tutoring is exceptionally helpful, and generous.
Thank you, it is something I needed to 'see' this explanation in print and pass on to other poetically minded wordsmiths..
Some books allude to the musical, ta-ta-ta-te-ta-ar-ta; which is OK on the dance floor but as you say, it does not work with words.


Thanks
Worddancer

[worddancer]

You put it together pretty well, Marty.

good stuff!


Worddancer