There's no point in cleaning your gutters...

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:45 am

There's no point in cleaning your gutters...

Stephen Whiteside 26.09.2011

There's no point in cleaning your gutters if your down-pipes aren't running free.
I went to my gen'ral practitioner. That's what he offered to me.
I wanted a simple reversal - reversal of vasectomy,
But my wife had a tubal ligation back in 2003.

There's no point in cleaning your gutters if your down-pipes aren't running free.
I went to the bloke who makes sails. That's what he offered to me.
I wanted to start winning races. I wanted to speed, and cut free,
But my boat, it was old, it was heavy, and sat far too low in the sea.

There's no point in cleaning your gutters if your down-pipes aren't running free.
I went to the chap who sells snow skis. That's what he offered to me.
I wanted to ski virgin powder, then climb back up effortlessly,
But he took a quick glance at my belly, my head that said 'seventy three'.

There's no point in cleaning your gutters if your down-pipes aren't running free.
I sought the advice of my plumber. That's what he offered to me.
"At your age, I'd not tackle either. Look at you. Seriously."
I think he just wanted my money. I do have a wobbly knee.

I slid off the roof on the weekend, and fell on my head. Heavily.
My spirit escaped from my body, and rose very confidently.
I had a good chat to St. Peter. Here's what he offered to me.
There's no point in cleaning your gutters if your down-pipes aren't running free.

David Campbell · Post by **David Campbell** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:57 am

Very deep, Stephen. I'm heading to the dictionary to check on the word 'metaphor'.

Cheers
David

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:06 am

Well, Manny and Vic were asking for more metaphors, weren't they? Couldn't fit a simile in, though. Sorry.

Maureen K Clifford · Post by **Maureen K Clifford** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:56 am

Stephen whatever you are self medicating on I want some

Stephen Whiteside · Post by **Stephen Whiteside** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:03 pm

Yeah, well...

Post by **Heather** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 1:01 pm

Much enjoyed Stephen.

Bob Pacey · Post by **Bob Pacey** » Mon Sep 26, 2011 1:39 pm

A metaphor isn't that those fluffy pants thingies that the golfers wear ???

And a simile can make everyone happy or is that smile ??? not sure.

once your down pipes are blocked Stephen you are in big trouble. !!!

Enjoyed this for the start of Funny poetry week. Well done.

Bob

ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

There's no point in cleaning your gutters...

There's no point in cleaning your gutters...

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