Ribbons and Bows

[Zondrae]

Morning Stephen,

Sorry about the little personal banter with Bob. He is teasing me about not responding to nick names... which I refuse to do. My mother gave me a lovely name so I insist people use it in full.

Now I can comment on your poem.
Firstly it reminded me of the old joke about knowing who is the bride at a russian wedding. But these days with political correctness we can't tell jokes like that. Then I had the image of a big burly man eg Arch Bishop (a well known poet down my way. You may remember him from the National.) with little multi coloured bows in his chest hair. These images brought a big smile. So, thank you for a bright spot in a busy day. I had so much to do yesterday it felt like I was in two paces at once.

With the repetitive stanza this poem looks like a song.

[r.magnay]

'morning Stephen,
I only got home from a week out bush and didn't think it warranted a reply from a dusty old bushie......not really, actually I was about to comment when my mobile rang and I had to go and wire up a bore pump and didn't get back to the site until this morning!
I actually quite like the poem but I am a bit confused about the fourth stanza, I reckon it doesn't belong there for a couple of reasons, one is that the last line sounds like it is just a line of convenience to rhyme and complete the stanza, secondly, people don't have to kill people to win a VC, not to say they havn't but often it is for an act of bravery which may well prevent a death rather than cause one! I am sure you are aware of all of that though, I just think if you tidied that stanza up it would make it a much better poem in my mind.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Well I actually thought the fourth verse gave the poem a bit of punch and strength away from the softness of the ribbon and bows themes, (sorry Ross ) and just emphasized how ribbons aren't just a frippery that females wear, but also serve an important and honoured role - but we all see things differently - I agree totally though with Kym's comment. They were stand out lines.

Il very much enjoyed this poem.

Cheers

Maureen

[Stephen Whiteside]

Boy, from famine to feast! Thanks, all.

Ross, I take your point. I'm trying to take a few more risks with my writing these days. I have tended to have a habit of 'over thinking' things, and self-censoring sometimes. These days I'm more inclined to go with the first thing that comes into my head. I was actually a bit surprised myself about my VC lines. I thought of changing them, then decided to stick with them.

Truth is, I have mixed feelings about VC winners, and the like. I find it all very confusing. I think of somebody like Siegfried Sassoon, the WW1 poet, who won a couple of Military Crosses - not VCs, but obviously similar. He threw one of them in a river - a bit like Ali's Olympic gold medal, I guess. Sassoon was part military hero, part anti-war pacifist, depending on time and place. So if a guy like him can't work it all out, what chance have I got?

I'm also interested in the idea of the 'unreliable narrator'. In other words, just because I might write a poem in the first person, it doesn't mean I believe what is being said. It's fun to lie. Or be inconsistent. Or unreasonable/irrational. And often makes for better writing. Having said that, I don't think I'm particularly good at it, but it's an idea that I'm exploring.

What is also interesting is that Sassoon own's view of his actions that were hailed as courageous was that they were actually quite erratic - perhaps even cowardly. There were many times when, as an officer, the responsible thing would have been for him to remain in the trench as a reliable authority figure. But he was too anxious and flighty to do this, so he ended up often leaving the trench - usually at night - and launching some crazy escapade, often alone, but maybe with one or two others, that sometimes achieved unexpectedly positive results - essentially because it was so ridiculous. This was interpreted as an act of 'bravery', and he was rewarded for it. But Sassoon didn't see it like that at all. He felt it would have been much braver of him to stay put, not take unnecessary risks, and 'be there' for his men. He just couldn't help himself, though. He would return to England for a period of leave, and vow not to repeat the same mistake. But as soon as he was back at the front he did it all over again. I'm not saying all VC awardees are like that, but I imagine quite a few are. To me it just highlights the ambiguities and chaos of war.

[Stephen Whiteside]

By the way, does anybody have contact details for Arch Bishop? I've been trying to get in touch with him for a while.

[Stephen Whiteside]

I should also add that I am the last person that should complain about a poem not being commented on (not that I really did, I guess.). I am very casual about doing so myself, and probably post more poems than I comment on. It would certainly not be good for the morale of the forum if people felt some sort of compulsion along those lines. So I apologise if I've sent the wrong message.

[r.magnay]

Stephen,
I rarely comment on the technical side of a poem either, sometimes on the content which I guess is what I am doing here, although I do still think the last line looks a bit like clutching at straws to me but each to his own. As for the merits or otherwise of a VC, having never fought a war I am in no position to comment on them from that angle. It is well and good to be anti war, and no doubt most sane thinking people are, however it is the few who aren't that keep wars going and no doubt will until the end of time. Of course this will start all sorts of debate about who started the fight in the first place, and that debate will also continue until the end of time. Sadly we must have them to maintain some sort of freedom on the planet and I guess it is fortunate that we have people of the calibre of VC winners to fight them on the 'right' side.