I'm Sorry Laurie

[Kym]

I don't know if I've posted this one before, but if so, here it is again ...

I’m Sorry, Laurie!
by Kym Eitel

Here I sit with husband, Laurie,
“For the millionth time, I’m sorry!”
as we’re waiting in the crowded x-ray ward.
See, we had a little “mix-up”
now he needs a bit of fix-up
and he blames me, but I still blame the cord.

His eye is bruised and swellin’
‘cos he hit it as he fell an’,
yes, it’s my fault that he’s injured here today.
He says his nose is broken
but we haven’t really spoken
since the ambo’s came and carried him away.

He was shouting in the kitchen
and I saw him jerkin’, twitchin’,
well, I thought his odd behaviour quite bizarre.
Oh, the pain! His face contorted,
and his mouth was all distorted,
as he swung his hips and shouted, “Ooh-ahh-ahh”.

His temple holes were pulsing,
he was twitching and convulsing
as he jerked from fridge to sink, then past the drawers.
He leapt like he’d touched fire,
as he spun - I saw the wire -
ah ha, electrocution was the cause!

No time for feeling sickly.
I knew I must act quickly.
We mustn’t touch, or I’d get zapped like that!
I thanked those ambo classes
as I straightened up my glasses
then whacked him with a wooden cricket bat.

Laurie cleared the kitchen table
with that voltage-bearing cable
still gripping tight to both his head and hip.
His cartwheel was dramatic
and his handstand, acrobatic,
then he flopped across the sink and split his lip.

He scored a lovely shiner
and some other things quite minor -
two broken ribs, a dislocated thumb,
his tooth was cracked and hurting,
from his toenail blood was spurting
and the bat had left an bruise across his bum.

The ambo’s rescued Laurie.
“For the millionth time, I’m sorry!”
We’re still waiting in the crowded x-ray ward.
It wasn’t electricity
that caused him all that pain, you see …
that “cable” was his stupid i-pod cord!

[Maureen K Clifford]

not quite grounds for divorce because the intention was good but the ice must be a bit thin mate

[mummsie]

Love it Kym


Sue

[Zondrae]

G'day Kym,

I've got it in the vault and performed at city Diggers last Friday. Had a great reaction. It has been really different for me to do someone else's poem. Again I thank you for your generosity in giving me permission. It is a great poem and I feel comfortable to present it.

I still have to finish learning another one to make the four for Crookwell.

[Kym]

Thanks Maureen, Sue and Zondrae, glad you enjoyed it. It's an oldie and I can't even remember where the idea came from, but it's in no way even close to the truth ...

[Leonie]

Ooh, I remember this one, it's one of my absolute favourites, paints a vivid picture.

[Heather]

I remember this one too. Very funny Kym. No one does silly better than you do!

[Heather]

Performed today at Benalla by one of the contestents- Barry Tiffen (beard 'an all) dressed up as Mrs. Laurie. He did you proud Kym! Very, very funny and the audience loved it.

Heather

[Bob Pacey]

Kymbo, Kymbo, Kymbo.

You should do more of these and I reckon you have a ready available source of inspiration there ( Sorry Laurie ! )

I look forward to the next instalment of The Life Of Laurie.





Bob