I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

[Bob Pacey]

I gotcha back Manny and the towel if ya want me to chuck it in



You did not have an operation lately to remove ya FUNNY bone Did ya Bill ???



Bob

[william williams]

Me tink me sence of humour, maybe thin
But me funny bone, she ain’t me shin
Deem words yah say, yah twist about
Just like dem pollies, dem words he shout
I reads yah writein, dem words make no sence
But when yah insults women, you’ve gone past the fence


I’ll drink you’re Slivavitch Manny and I’ll share mine with you
But there are some things like women I keep with respect

Heh Manny if we both have to go to the naughty corner does drinking Vodka give you smelly wind

[Neville Briggs]

I must be a bit of a thicky... This is supposed to be general poetry discussion and I haven't yet figured out the point of the discussion. I'm struggling to find anything that resembles poetry discussion .....actually.

[Zondrae]

Umm,

I wasn't trying to stir anything up. I only wished to know if there was a reason the passage was written as it is.
Does anyone know?

Thanks Bill for being my champion but I am sure Manfred was fooling round.

We have an academic at the Uni down here who is of the 'modern' persuasion in that he poo-poos any thing that rhymes. I wish he could be more open minded, as he runs a lot of workshops and I would like to go to one, but know he would dismiss me as 'one of those'. I can be fairly thick skinned among friends but in the company of strangers I don't think I would be too brave.

[manfredvijars]

... take Bill with you when you go ...


With the 'free' verse you don't even need to use correct grammar, punctuation or spelling. The unfortunate fact is that they won't write in rhyme and metre - because they can't. Many rhymesters can easily rattle off 'free' verse, but the others have problems writing in rhyme(AND metre).

Just take a look at my siggie at the bottom of the page and share it with the 'p'fessa ...

[Neville Briggs]

With the 'free' verse you don't even need to use correct grammar, punctuation or spelling. The unfortunate fact is that they won't write in rhyme and metre - because they can't. Many rhymesters can easily rattle off 'free' verse, but the others have problems writing in rhyme(AND metre).

Are you sure you can sustain that absolute argument with reasonable evidence Manfred ?? Even one contrary example will sink your hypothesis. And I can reveal several.

[manfredvijars]

... go for it Nev ...

[David Campbell]

Zondrae, I can't see any real reason why the original 'poem' is written as it is. If it had come to me in a general poetry competition it would have gone straight onto the discard pile as a poorly written, clumsy, fairly incomprehensible bit of psycho-babble. Maybe knowing the book it's based on would help, but as it stands it doesn't seem to have much going for it poetically. At least I can structure my version as rhyming verse without too much trouble (below), even if it would also have gone straight into the bin for many of the same reasons!

Cheers
David

Come follow me, my children, to the bliss that knows no wrong,
here floating in the rapture of my cosmic billabong…
I’ve overcome confusion in the fissures of my soul,
much deeper than the hand of man has ever dug a hole…
I know I was a drongo and a dag, not dinky-di,
my cake-hole spewing gibberish and never asking why
I’m cast upon this spinning rock out in the Milky Way
with only stars for company and nothing much to say
about the mighty universe that started with a bang
when time and space collided in a rather nasty prang…
and yet when creepy, crawly things came oozing from the slime
it meant that after quite a while we mortal folk could rhyme
about all kinds of scary things the psyche can evolve
in brains that grapple constantly with problems we can’t solve…
and so we muse on destiny and what the hell it means,
and whether life is nothing more than just a hill of beans…
but as a panegyric that’s a thought that will not do
for nothing will convince me that we haven’t got a clue…
it’s madness that confronts me if we journey down that road,
and so I seek some respite from that terrifying load
and say that I’m quite happy as I sing this little song
while paddling with the swagman in my cosmic billabong.

[Neville Briggs]

Must I Manfred, .....you know I'm right.

I think our energies would be much better used, instead of concerning ourselves with what others are doing, let's give some critical thought to what we are doing and how to do it to a high standard.

[Bob Pacey]

That sound like a capitulation to me Manny ??? lol



Bob