I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Discussion of any bush poetry topic.
ONLY Registered Forum Members have access to this Forum.
Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:12 pm

That's it Marty :lol: I hadn't heard that before.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Zondrae
Moderator
Posts: 2292
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:04 am
Location: Illawarra

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Zondrae » Sun Apr 22, 2012 9:40 pm

... And I bet Marty didn't type that cra. .. (umm what will I call it).. that piece into his computer!

I would put money on a massive 'cut and paste' job.

mm some of the lines are amusing, every so slightly, as for being poetic or intelligently expressive.. well - to my eye, ear or thoughts they're not. Now, if I were to arrange this little paragraph into some funny stepped setting out, would it be a poem? Let me try. Seriously, I wish to know, to learn, to be correct.

mm some of the lines are amusing,
ever so slightly,
as for being poetic or intelligently expressive..
well - to my eye, ear or thoughts they're not.
Now,
if I were to arrange this little paragraph
into some funny
stepped
setting out,
would it be a poem?
if not, why not?

So can someone tell me what the rules are, that guide a learner to correctly writing a free verse poem. Or are there no rules? If there are no rules how do you tell a poem from some random lines.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

User avatar
David Campbell
Posts: 1232
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:27 am
Location: Melbourne
Contact:

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by David Campbell » Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:10 am

Hi Zondrae

I wouldn't say there are 'rules' to free verse, not in the sense that we rely on regular metre and perfect rhyme for bush poetry, but there are techniques you can use. I won't take up space here, but if you're interested you'll find one of my free verse pieces, plus a judge's comment, at: http://sites.google.com/site/fawnorthsh ... ry-results

It's a competition you know because you won the traditional poetry section, so you may already have seen it, but if you'd like to fire a few questions at me via a pm about what I wrote and why I'll try to answer them.

Cheers
David

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Neville Briggs » Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:37 am

Zondrae, Marty's piece is a satire on post-modernist thought and free verse. I don't think one is meant to try and scan or analyse it's form with any serious intent. ;) ;)

I'm afraid Zondrae that searching for the rules of free verse will take you nowhere. Someone has said that free verse writing is like being Robinson Crusoe, you have to construct everything yourself.

Zondrae, if you are interested in broadening your poetic horizons, why don't you try some different forms like, a sonnet, a villanelle,an ode, a ballade, or even a pantoum, now there's a challenge. And these are all metred and rhymed forms.
Last edited by Neville Briggs on Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8153
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Mon Apr 23, 2012 10:47 am

You might like this one Zondrae even if it doesn't scan or rhyme

Togetherness

He wore a dead man’s suit and stood on the edge of the pathway
scuffing the dirt with the toe of his boot as the doorbell chimed
long remembered chimes through the old house .

He heard laughter and running footsteps as the door swung open
Season’s greetings were shouted along with ‘welcome home.’
He was embraced in his mother’s arms.

His sweating hands left blurry fingerprints on the worn red laminex tabletop.
The collar of his shirt felt tight and hot and scratchy
and his new boots pinched something chronic.

But the meaning of life was here
his family gathered around him.
How could he have forgotten and cast them aside?

Her plumey tail wagged and her grizzled muzzle rested on his knee.
Rheumy old eyes gazed into brown eyes.
The golden haired man stroked the golden haired dog.

This was togetherness. and both were once again happy.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
Zondrae
Moderator
Posts: 2292
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:04 am
Location: Illawarra

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Zondrae » Mon Apr 23, 2012 11:42 pm

G'day Maureen,

I understand that this is a nice sentimental bit of writing and has that aaahh factor. Please don't get me wrong, I have read some beautiful pieces that are written in 'other' forms. eg, I love the discipline of the Haiku.

I think if I were to meet more free verse writers who were truly open to accepting that my chosen form is as valid as they think free verse is, I might have other feelings about it.

Thanks, David, I might take you up on the offer. I feel honoured to be offered some of your insight. My husband has just had a skin cancer removed today ( it was like a 'witches wart' on his nose) so I'll be nursie for few days. But I hope I do find time to follow up on this.
Zondrae King
a woman of words

Heather

Re: I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

Post by Heather » Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:52 am

Zondrae I'm sure Wayne is thrilled to know you shared that with us! :)

Post Reply