COLLABORATIVE POEM 19 - JACK THE SHREDDER

[Wendy Seddon]

Someone at work was shredding paper. It was an extremely annoying noise.


One said - sounds like a wood planer
another said - sounds like a chainsaw
and another - sounds like Jack the Ripper's brother - Jack the Shredder.

Jumped out to me as an interesting title to play with so,

Jack the Shredder.... (go for it kids.)

[Rimeriter]

Mate, nothing sensible came quickly.

Bad time for makin' rhyme
about that bloke - Jack the Shredder.
Maybe introduce - Jill the Quill,
In the office he might wed 'er.

[Bob Pacey]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.


Bob

[Peely]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

[Bob Pacey]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

[Maureen K Clifford]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

[Wendy Seddon]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occured one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.

Wen

[Bob Pacey]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occured one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.

Wen

For Jack had not come home
to his elegant skyscraper
and when they checked the office
they found bloodied shredded paper.

Bob

[Maureen K Clifford]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occurred one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.

Wen

For Jack had not come home
to his elegant skyscraper
and when they checked the office
they found bloodied shredded paper.

Bob

They checked the office kitchen
and found glad - wrapped in the freezer
suspicious frozen packages
all labelled 'Jack the geezer'
mkc

[Peely]

Now you've heard some funny stories
about serial killers through the ages.
Ones that make ya blood run cold
and made a mark in histories pages.
Bob

But this bloke tore his victims up
like he was grating cheddar,
he'd leave behind a minced up mess -
his name was Jack the Shredder.
JP

A shy and quiet bloke was Jack
some thought he was a twit.
But he turned into a demon
when someone called out "Shred it" !

Bob

He’d race around the office floor
gathering paper left and right
then he’d commandeer the shredder
screaming at it ‘Shred it right’
mkc

An incident occurred one night
while normal people slept,
it had the crack detectives stumped
as 'round the scene they crept.

Wen

For Jack had not come home
to his elegant skyscraper
and when they checked the office
they found bloodied shredded paper.

Bob

They checked the office kitchen
and found glad - wrapped in the freezer
suspicious frozen packages
all labelled 'Jack the geezer'
mkc

A crime scene was established and
they searched around for prints.
It seemed that Jack the Shredder
somehow turned himself to mince.

Just how he turned out packaged up
and frozen had them guessing -
the thoughts of mince in motion were
a little bit distressing.
JP