WALKIES

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Maureen K Clifford
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WALKIES

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:49 pm

WALKIES

Remnants of fog clinging damp, smelling smoky,
are whisping in drifts round my knees.
Walking the dogs at the start of daylight
before birds have departed the trees,
colourful lorikeets green, gold and crimson
and blue now explode into flight
scared by the antics of one dancing cat,
or my dogs barking now with delight.

The faint chink of money is heard as the milkman
delivers a bottle or two,
to the front verandah of twenty four Down Street –
a job now that not many now do.
He mutters G’day as he passes by –
no breeze is lifting the mist to the sky
but all ‘s right with my world and nothings awry
so the two dogs and me just pass by.

Maureen Clifford © 10/12
Last edited by Maureen K Clifford on Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: WALKIES

Post by Stephen Whiteside » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:22 pm

Nice word picture, Maureen.

Now I don't want to be picky, but, strictly speaking, the second line should begin 'are' not 'is'. I can understand the confusion, but it is not merely the fog that is whisping, it is the remnants of the fog that are whisping - it's the remnants, not merely the fog. This is plural, not singular, and demands 'are', not 'is'. Hope that makes sense.

Here endeth the lesson.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: WALKIES

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:16 pm

Lesson duely attended and changes made - thank you kind sir for your able assistance. :lol:

That'll learn me to pay more attention in class. :o :roll: :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Mariont3155

Re: WALKIES

Post by Mariont3155 » Thu Oct 25, 2012 7:24 pm

I can't resist, either, Maureen. Stephen must be as 'anal' (excuse me) as I am.

Wot is a whisp?
Are they perhaps wispy remnants of fog?

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Maureen K Clifford
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: WALKIES

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:23 pm

Whisp is always a great word to know. So is ninnyhammer :lol: :lol:

Whisp as in whispering around, barely there. Did you buy that? Bummer :? :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Heather

Re: WALKIES

Post by Heather » Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:29 am

Nice picture you paint Maureen. It's a beautiful time of the day isn't it?

Heather :)

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