The Disappearing Poem

[Stephen Whiteside]

The Disappearing Poem

© Stephen Whiteside 16.09.2012

This is not a common way to write.
No doubt when it’s complete the finished sight
Will look quite odd. It matters not a whit.
Of course, the subject matter is quite trite.
It’s all about the form, the look of it.
I rub my hands together, and I spit.

I’m working to a very simple plan.
Can I pull it off? I think I can.
Each verse will have one line less than the one
That comes before it. Still, I hope the scan
And rhyme will stay intact. I’m halfway done!

Now I have a four line verse. That should
Be bread and butter to an old bush scribe.
Alternating rhymes are always good -
Common tools of trade throughout the tribe.

Next we have a triplet. Don’t see much
Of them these days. I doubt that this is new.
The paucity was likely ever such.

A couplet brings the ending into view.
Most will see it all as Double Dutch.

It might, though, give a chuckle to a few.

[Heather]

chuckle, chuckle,

Heather

[Leonie]

ditto

[Stephen Whiteside]

Chuckles make the world turn round...

[Bob Pacey]

Is that what they call it now Chuckles !


Might try that sometime


Bob

[Zondrae]

He he,

Or should that be hee hee. I feel, however, that the form is somewhat overpowering the content. When I read the title I expected something a little shorter, perhaps repetitive.

Do you know the children's verse about the Boa Constrictor?
It ends with 'Oh dread he's up to my.........'.

[Stephen Whiteside]

There is no content, Zondrae. There's nothing to overpower!

[Zondrae]

ah!

but in that poem... the person speaking is slowly being swallowed ie disappearing as the poem goes on.

as does your poem.... No?

[Stephen Whiteside]

Yes, I suppose so, though I hadn't quite thought of it that way.

[warooa]

Funnily enough - when I read this I was thinking of the same Boa Constricter poem that Zondrae mentions.

It was written by American poet/songwriter Shel Silverstien, who was also a talented cartoonist and his kids poems were accompanied by his quirky drawings. He wrote a wide range of poems and songs and I don't know if there is a name for this style of writing but it is like writing a poem in "the now". Another notable example by Silverstien is the song lyric "25 minutes to go" which Johnny Cash recorded, it is a chilling count down of a man waiting at the gallows.

I enjoyed your poem, Stephen.

Cheers, Marty