Aunt Aggie

[TomChap]

Aunt Aggie

The teacher thought a time of self expression would be good,
If students in her primary class told stories which then could
Show moralistic lessons, philosophical perhaps;
An interesting exercise for those young girls and chaps.

And as you might expect there were the usual anecdotes
Of being kind to animals, like dogs and cats and goats.
Some told of love to fellow man, of kindness and concern,
Good lessons straight from human life—so valuable to learn.

And then young Johnny raised his hand in eagerness to tell
The story of an auntie who survived a wartime hell.
"She was amongst the fighting, and the things were going bad,
She drank a flask of whiskey, was the last one that she had.

She leapt out of the trench amongst the bullets and the shells
And let out an almighty scream, a thousand decibels.
It nearly froze the blood of all the enemy with fear
So piercing and dreadful, it was all that they could hear.

A hundred stood in front of her and she was only one,
But fighting mad and crazy with her automatic gun.
She mowed them down just where they stood till every one had dropped
And not until she'd killed them all was that machine gun stopped.

With blood and bodies everywhere the battle field was quiet
Aunt Aggie had despatched them all, and no one could deny it."
The teacher stood there horrified at Johnny's gory tale,
The little girls were feeling sick, the boys looked rather pale.

"And is there something we can learn?" the teacher asked at length,
Just hoping for an answer to bring back some moral strength.
"Well Miss, I'm not too sure 'bout that, but this is what I think;
Don't mess with Auntie Aggie when she's had a bit to drink."

© Tom Chapman

[Maureen K Clifford]

Love it Good advice

[r.magnay]

...better watch out for Bob there Tom, he has a mortgage on old jokes....

[Bob Pacey]

The problem as I see it is that to me they are new jokes because i'm not nearly as old as the rest of you OLD Blokes !



Robert