Weeds in the Flowerbed

[Heather]

Bill and Ben?

Heather dancing to a contrary beat

[Dave Smith]

What did you like best Heather The Flowers or the Pot?

TTFN

[Heather]

The flowers - of course, Dave....

[manfredvijars]

Bit of a re-write. I think this will be a lyric once I nail the chorus ...

Weeds in the Flowerbed

How fervent life is with the world at your feet
to be singing and dancing to a contrary beat.
When flowers had power and the loving was free
the Future, was our for the making.

So Love was the answer and Peace the decree
and sharing and caring, how happy we'd be.
Loveins, sitins, no violence, no war -
we'd fix up a World that was aching.

Seduced by mad loving, cheap wine and hash,
then lured by grand living, new markets and cash.
Where a whirlwind of faces - all greedy, deranged
milk a World full of riches for taking.

I'm pickin and strummin to hold on to my brain
and write shallow verse to keep me from insane.
And what have I left for my grandkids I ask –
just a World gone to hell from our making.
.... a World gone to hell from our making.

CHORUS
Weeds in the flower bed, oh watch them grow
Weeds in the flower bed reap what we sow
Weeds in the flower bed oh don't you know -
This Worlds gone to hell from our making
---

[Heather]

Manfred you might look at the tense. In some lines you have "is" and others "was".

[Mal McLean]

He shouldn't be tense, Heather, not with all that cheap wine and hash......

Mal

[Heather]

Ok, look at the past and present!

Heather with a flower in her hair!

[Neville Briggs]

I wondered what the cheap wine was. Passion Pop, Cold Duck, Brown Muscat ??

[Neville Briggs]

I know that poems are often made into lyrics.
Beethoven's Ninth Symphony ( Ode to Joy ) is the most famous and marvellous example.
or Paterson's Waltzing Matilda.
The feature of lyrics is that the stresses of the lyrics is the beat of the music whereas in poetry, the stresses are the stresses of language. Not quite the same thing usually. ( I learnt that from Jim Haynes )
I think that's where some people get puzzled with metre, especially people who have experience in music or songs before they try their hand at poetry.

Anyway, we'll be interested to see how you go with your chorus.

[keats]

I didn't know Beethoven wrote music to put to lyrics? Yes indeed, some of our greatest songwriters (that is both music AND the lyrics) follow no rules of Jim Haynes. It's a great lyrical layout for a song Manfred. Wow, you DO cop some flack when you share here, don't you?

Neil