A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

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Neville Briggs
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A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Neville Briggs » Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:58 pm

I was appalled to read in the last issue of the ABPA magazine how David Campbell had been apparently marked down in a written poetry comp after the judge decided that he had rhymed the word because supposedly wrongly. I can't find my copy now, but if my pensioner memory is of any use, the argument raised was whether because should rhyme with was or rhyme with floors .

I remember thinking when I read this, I wonder what the poem was like. Was it moving, funny, deeply contemplative, was it better in expression than the other entries. Apparently all the judge needed to know is that it had a WRONG rhyme.

I entered a written comp once with a poem called " The Grave of Joe Governor " about a bandit in the local history.
The judge marked me down and wrote in the margin a severe chastisement because I had used the near rhyme " grass " and " past ".
Curiously, Dorothea Mackellar wrote a poem called Dusk in the Domain, which has this stanza
Grey rock monsters
Out of the grass
Heaved; lie staring;
Moths drift past.

If Dorothea Mackellar had entered this bush poetry comp she would have been drummed out as incompetent. :roll:

On the other hand.
A couple of weeks ago, I recited The Grave of Joe Governor at a bush poets performance at Singleton Bowling Club. Several days later, a lady who had been with a friend in the audience, spoke to me and told me that after hearing my poem, she had gone with her friend out to the pioneeer cemetery to look at the grave and headstone of the notorious bushranger, Joe Governor.
Wow ! What a result. No splitting hairs about enjambments and near rhymes. They were moved to take an interest in the history I had depicted.
I was really pleased with that outcome. I'd rather have that, than a shelf full of trophies and certificates for " correct " verses.


p.s. does because rhyme with was or floors or abuzz. The answer is.....YES :roll: :lol:
Last edited by Neville Briggs on Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Neville Briggs
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Neville Briggs » Tue Jul 30, 2013 3:20 pm

If you'll forgive me Marty, that's not actually my point. My point is about the things that matter. ;) :)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

warooa

Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by warooa » Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:01 am

Neville Briggs wrote: My point is about the things that matter. ;) :)
Ahh "The things that matter" . . . a failed past Liberal Party election slogan I believe :)

I agree entirely what you say, Neville - the effect the words and poem can have is much more important in the overall context of things than a poorly positioned apostrophe (which is actually just the remnants of a gecko poo :P ).

But . . . the judge is just doing his/her job to the best of his/her ability . . which too, is all we can ask.

Marty

Neville Briggs
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:20 am

Not a Lib slogan ,that was Alexander Downer who learned the danger of politicians trying to make a joke off the cuff. :roll:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:21 am

We can't please all the people all the time and some we can't please at all and I agree that your poem achieved the best response of all Neville - an interest in what you were writing about sufficient to go and check further. Well done. And I bet those ladies witll tell the story for years to come...

'do you know we heard this poem about Joe Governers grave and the bloke who read the poem told the story so well we just had to go and have a look for ourselves and ..................'

You did good Neville. ;)
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Neville Briggs » Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:31 pm

You're too kind Maureen :oops: plenty of others I bombed out on :lol:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Zondrae
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Zondrae » Sun Aug 04, 2013 10:38 am

Ah the competition..

As has been said many times... the judge on the day and looking at the poem in question..

There has to be something that is used as a yardstick to measure one poem against another. Another thing that has also been said, if you use a pronunciation in one way, you must use it that way throughout that poem.
I would think that the rhyme is 'floors'. I would never even consider 'buzz' but I also think this is a case of where you went to school.

As for the 'who cares as long as it gets through'.. I can't support this idea. If we, who write the poems of today, don't care about writing good R&M, what will happen to Bush Poetry in the future?
Zondrae King
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Vic Jefferies
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Vic Jefferies » Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:24 am

I totally agree with you Zondrae. There are many examples of professional poets using "near" rhyme
and in some quarters this is accepted as correct. However when I read poems of this kind it jars with me and makes me wonder if the writer understood what they were doing or is it just bad writing.
I think the prime example of sticking with an established pronunciation through out a poem is the word "again." I pronounce it agane which rhymes with pain others use agen and rhyme it with men, but it is not unusual to see it used both ways in a poem. What hurts is when it should be used as agane but comes out as agen. This happens very often in songs and sounds dreadful.

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Bob Pacey
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Bob Pacey » Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:45 pm

Bit like The King in his altogether Nev ?

If Dorothea Mackellar had entered this bush poetry comp she would have been drummed out as incompetent. :roll:


Just because someone of note does it ! Does that make it right ?


Bob
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After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

Neville Briggs
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Re: A rhyme is a rhyme is a rhyme.

Post by Neville Briggs » Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:40 pm

Actually Bob, it was the Emperor that had no clothes. ;) The Emperor; the one who is the " authority ", who says what should be and what shouldn't be, what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. ;) :roll:
Bob Pacey wrote: If Dorothea Mackellar had entered this bush poetry comp she would have been drummed out as incompetent. :roll:
Just because someone of note does it ! Does that make it right ?
Bob
In the context of poetry practice.........YES
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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