Australia Day

[Mal McLean]

Remember Australia Day 2013 in Queensland?

Floods, cyclone, tornadoes,........

Australia Day

Australians! Let us rejoice for living in the land of choice.
It’s time you all should lend your voice; avoid the great temptation.
On January twenty six with TC Oswald in the mix
we tried to get our yearly fix and barbeque the nation.

With forecast weather closing in tornadoes gave a mighty spin
and wiped away my happy grin with fear of barbie failure.
It rained and rained and blew and blew, the back fence went, the shade cloth too,
but still I tried to barbeque to gain a sense of closure.

We’d spent our dosh, the lamb was bought, we’d chilled the prawns and crabs we’d caught
and somewhere deep in hope we sought deliverance from weather.
The beer was cold and so were we, the water rose around my knee,
‘twas then we lost the old gum tree; we huddled all together.

With nothing else to do that day we all got full I’m sad to say.
My friends and rellies went away, a ragged wet procession.
My kit was soaked and on the sag and looking like an old dish rag
I went to change and saw the tag that raised an ugly question.

My Aussie emblem Jackie Howe had put a furrow on my brow.
It’s made in Thailand! What a cow! Was this an aberration?
In sinking mood and out of sorts and fearful now of more imports,
found ‘Made in China’ on my shorts! Another indignation! 

I’d whipped my shorts off past my shoes. ‘Twas there I hoped for better news.
Inside the tongue…a dose of blues! A product Filipino!
I dropped my undies to my knees and looking down I whispered, ‘Please’,
then read the tag – they were Chinese! An Aussie-wear El Nino!

I quickly whipped off one wet sock. With what I saw I did my block!
Another Chinese tag to rock my faith in homemade clobber.
The stubby holder in my hand! That’s got to be an Aussie brand.
I turned it upside down and scanned. Another Barry Crocker!

So there I sat, so drunk, forlorn, the only Aussie thing I’d worn,
the skin I had when I was born a product of this great land.
I had another ale or two, the truth be known, well, quite a few.
With mind and body turning blue, I trickled from a tear gland.

I staggered naked to the street the wind and rain and cold to meet
and met the coppers on their beat; no sense of humour, coppers.
The magistrate was hardly fair when told the why of my despair.
A thousand bucks or six months square. He reckoned I told whoppers.

I didn’t mention any brand, I am sure you know them off by hand.
Used to be - made in this land. The factories are empty.
But now I think I’ve partly heeled. I bought a belt in Tenterfield.
The magistrate I have appealed. My hat is made in Kempsey. 

Our politicians have all sinned. The acts they pass are mainly wind.
The choice we have has really thinned for city folk and bushies.
The storm has left me with a hope. When voting please don’t vote a dope.
The politicians just can’t cope, so ask to see their undies!

And if they have a tag to read that’s made in Aussie, then concede
they might be of a better breed, avoiding foreign folly.
If only one would stop and say let’s buy our country back today
I’d stand and holler out ‘Hooray! I’m thinking…. ‘THAT’S UNLIKELY!’

The End.
Get some passion in your life.
Buy Australian made!
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© M M Beveridge 12/3/2013

[Maureen K Clifford]

Good on you Mal It's not easy being a fair dinkum Aussie these days

[Heather]

Good one Mal. I enjoyed the humour in this Hope it's a bit quieter for you this year,

Heather