Not Enough, Too Much

[Stephen Whiteside]

Not Enough, Too Much

Not enough slumber. Too much party.
Not enough arty. Too much farty.

Too much whipped. Not enough cream.
Too much wet. Not enough dream.

Not enough maidens. Too many overs.
Not enough four leafed. Too many clovers.

Too much roasted. Not enough pork.
Too much loose. Not enough talk.

Too much spilled. Not enough milk.
Too much Acker. Not enough Bilk.

Too little choccy. Not enough biccy.
Too much Tricky. Not enough Dicky.

Too much Grin. Not enough Spoon.
Too little loony. Too much toon.

Too much Moody. Not enough Blues.
Too many miles. Not enough shoes.

Too much Rolling. Not enough Stones.
Too much Ezekiel. Not enough bones.

Not enough whispered. Too much menace.
Too much royal. Not enough tennis.

Not enough Marx. Too many Brothers.
Too many Pointers. Not enough Sisters.

Too much Mickey. Not enough Mouse.
Too much Crowded. Not enough House.

Too much Cold. Not enough Chisel.
Too much scrotum. Not enough pizzle.

Too much Piddling. Not enough Pete.
Too much Canned. Not enough Heat.

Too much Split. Not enough Enz.
Too much Mercedes. Not enough Schapelle.

Too little bread. Too many crumbs.
Too many sucked. Not enough thumbs.
(Not enough itchy. Too many bums.)

Not enough Roger. Too much Rabbit.
Too much cocaine. Not enough habit.

Too much aching. Not enough heads.
Too much crumpled. Not enough beds.

Too many virgins. Not enough brides.
Too many Girls. Not enough Guides.

Too much Dick. Not enough Tracey.
Too much outer. Not enough spacey.

Too much Willem. Not enough Defoe.
Too much Daniel. Not enough Crusoe.

Not enough chickens. Too much pox.
Not enough beds. Too many sox.

Eggs not green enough. Too much ham.
Not enough Python. Too much Spam.

Too much Bo. Not enough Peep.
Too much rhyming. Not enough sleep.

© Stephen Whiteside 23.02.2014

[warooa]

Goodonya Doc . . . taking bush poetry to places where it's never been - Grinspoon, cocaine habits, virgin brides and Acker Bilk to name just a few. Sure to stir the traditionalists up, but they've just got to understand that they haven't got access to the same medical cabinet

There's a couple of couplets there with no rhyme - brothers/sisters and Enz/Schappelle (I'll give you Defoe/Crusoe) was that intentional?

Anyway I enjoyed it.

Cheers, Marty

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Marty.

Well, rhyme gets a bit boring after a while, doesn't it? Besides, you were supposed to go "…Benz - oh Schapelle. Huh? Oh, I get it, that's funny. Ho ho ho!" You know, that kind of thing.

[Neville Briggs]

Well, rhyme gets a bit boring after a while, doesn't it

Most certainly can be true if we assume that the mere application of rhymes is enough to make poetic style..

In your defense Stephen, I think ( I suppose it's arguable) that we need not assume that we should be able to " get " a poem on just one first reading.
Sight reading is usually not enough for musicians, they go over a piece several times in rehearsal until they get the feel of it.
Why should poetry be different ? Certainly, if it's a written poem, that can be done easily.
Even in a spoken poem, the voice can be modulated to give the idea of those " tricky " bits.

There are a couple of places in yours that at first are tricky, as pointed out, but I think the reader could persevere with getting the feel and then the idea becomes apparent, hopefully no problem.

The only suggestion I would make, following from contemporary English poet, John Whitworth; who does very similar rhymed list poems, is to think about whether it could be an idea to sometimes break up the list at places by a sort of refrain, different from the list. Just a passing thought.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Thanks, Neville. I wasn't having a go at Marty, I was just answering his question. I hope it didn't come across as offensive.

This is a piece that probably works best read aloud - if it works at all.

Too polish or not to polish? That is always the question.

[Heather]

You even managed to get the sox in this one too Stephen. It's an amusing little poem and I liked the clever non-rhyming lines. (Watch out - the rhyme police will get ya!)

Heather

[warooa]

Anything with a line like "too much scrotum, not enough pizzle" deserves a polish.

Marty

ps. Yeah bit of a slowy me, Sundy'n'all - I geddit Mercedes Enz, Schappelle Splits

[Heather]

Gonna put that one in the next children's book Stephen? Might have to be a few "please explains" as footnotes......

[Stephen Whiteside]

Oh well, Heather, you can't write for children ALL the time.