What Should I write ?
- alongtimegone
- Posts: 1305
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:05 pm
- Location: Brisbane
Re: What Should I write ?
Everyone's having a bit of fun on this post ... and why not ... but in defence of free verse, when it is amateurish it's as bad as writing gets but when written by poets it's beautiful.
Maiden Aunts
by David Malouf
Beauty haunts them now with only the soft
laughter of girls they were; like old love-letters
their perfumes fade; their hands become transparent
that fly on the keys, ply needle, crochet-hook;
and only the fine eyes burn; only the rosewood
piano speaks, or needlework recovers
from passionate calm the heart's complexity.
Unsubtle nieces find them (sweetly smelling
of lavender and musk, tucked up in collars
of Brussels lace) half-comic, like the slang
they use (once bold, of course), the genteel terror
with which they cover mirrors and cold steel
from lightning-flash, the virtuoso pieces
they play to the young on rainy afternoons—
missing the serioso, whose dark bass
runs beneath their trills, and missing here
in the intricate work (old-fangled) that their hands
deliver to festivals — a set of doilies,
a christening shawl — as also in the music's
wayward storm, the young girl's passion, blazing
from brittle finger-tips, from vivid eyes.
Maiden Aunts
by David Malouf
Beauty haunts them now with only the soft
laughter of girls they were; like old love-letters
their perfumes fade; their hands become transparent
that fly on the keys, ply needle, crochet-hook;
and only the fine eyes burn; only the rosewood
piano speaks, or needlework recovers
from passionate calm the heart's complexity.
Unsubtle nieces find them (sweetly smelling
of lavender and musk, tucked up in collars
of Brussels lace) half-comic, like the slang
they use (once bold, of course), the genteel terror
with which they cover mirrors and cold steel
from lightning-flash, the virtuoso pieces
they play to the young on rainy afternoons—
missing the serioso, whose dark bass
runs beneath their trills, and missing here
in the intricate work (old-fangled) that their hands
deliver to festivals — a set of doilies,
a christening shawl — as also in the music's
wayward storm, the young girl's passion, blazing
from brittle finger-tips, from vivid eyes.
- keats
- Posts: 1045
- Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:43 pm
Re: What Should I write ?
Yeah, I see what you mean! Do you have an example of a good one?
Neil
Neil
Re: What Should I write ?
There's something very gentle and genteel about that poem - it envelopes the reader and I wanted to read more. It's beautiful - thanks Wazza.
Heather
Heather

- David Campbell
- Posts: 1232
- Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 10:27 am
- Location: Melbourne
- Contact:
Re: What Should I write ?
If anyone's interested in something else from the other side of the tracks I've put a couple of my free verse pieces up on my website...Razor Wire and Still Life under the 'Poems' heading at: http://www.campbellwriter.com
(Sorry, Neil...I don't have any examples of good ones either. But I'm working on it!)
Cheers
David
(Sorry, Neil...I don't have any examples of good ones either. But I'm working on it!)
Cheers
David
Re: What Should I write ?
Thankyou David. I enjoyed reading your two poems.
I think I have discovered what the difference between a metred poem and good free verse is - for me at least. I find the metred poetry carries me along with the rhythm and often it's easy not to think too much about what you are reading because of that rhythm. In these free verse examples I have to read each word and get a feel for every word - one by one and think about what I am reading and get involved in it. It's more like savouring chocolate - slowly, deliciously. Plenty of times I've read bush poem the first time and got to the end and not really felt it and I think that's why.
I'm interested in what others who appreciate both forms think.......not you Keats - I know what you wear remember - and I will use that information for devious means if necessary!
And anyone else who wants to get on a soap box - I'm ready to kick it down!
yeah baby!
I think I have discovered what the difference between a metred poem and good free verse is - for me at least. I find the metred poetry carries me along with the rhythm and often it's easy not to think too much about what you are reading because of that rhythm. In these free verse examples I have to read each word and get a feel for every word - one by one and think about what I am reading and get involved in it. It's more like savouring chocolate - slowly, deliciously. Plenty of times I've read bush poem the first time and got to the end and not really felt it and I think that's why.
I'm interested in what others who appreciate both forms think.......not you Keats - I know what you wear remember - and I will use that information for devious means if necessary!

yeah baby!
Re: What Should I write ?
Good on you Heather there is room for all types of poetry in this world (NOT JUST BUSH POETRY) as some is quite enjoyable.
bill Williams the old battler
bill Williams the old battler
Re: What Should I write ?
There's room for good writing Bill - and that is probably something different for every person - as it should be.
It would be a pretty boring world if we all wrote the same or liked the same thing - we'd have nothing to argue about then would we?
Same goes for just about everything in life - art, music, gardens, houses, people (& if you ask my daughter - nappies!
) - all different, all interesting in their own way - although I'm not convinced about the nappies...... 




Re: What Should I write ?
Well Heather you may be right as how I write may not be true bush poetry but it keeps on being enjoyed a lot more than many other types of modern poetry but it all has it's place it just depends on who is reading it and how it makes them feel
bill the old battler
bill the old battler
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8159
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
Re: What Should I write ?
Great poems David - Razor Wire - right up to the minute with content - you'd be hard pressed I would think to not feel some emotion after reading it.
I enjoyed reading White Man's Way as well
I enjoyed reading White Man's Way as well
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.