Tomorrow Is A Promise

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Heather

Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Heather » Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:59 pm


Neville Briggs
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Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Neville Briggs » Fri Sep 26, 2014 6:11 pm

Well done Heather, I love it. :) :)
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

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Bob Pacey
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Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Bob Pacey » Sat Sep 27, 2014 6:32 am

Someone on a promise ?


The air rhyme in the last and first verse just seemed to jump out at me H ? I do not know why.

But well constructed and just rolls along nicly

Bob
The purpose in life is to have fun.
After you grasp that everything else seems insignificant !!!

Heather

Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Heather » Sat Sep 27, 2014 8:38 am

Thank you Neville. I was going through my old poems yesterday and this was an old homework topic (about four years old) and I ripped it to shreds and it now has no resemblance to the original. I like this one better. :) It's given me some other ideas too.

Dunno Bob, it kinda wrote itself and once I realised I'd done it, I was emotionally attached to the first rhyme. You know how it is. :)

Heather

Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Heather » Sat Sep 27, 2014 8:48 am

First poem in six months. Geez it feels good. :D

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Stephen Whiteside
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Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Stephen Whiteside » Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:21 am

Nice one, Heather.
Stephen Whiteside, Australian Poet and Writer
http://www.stephenwhiteside.com.au

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David Campbell
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Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by David Campbell » Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:33 am

Yep, concise and thought-provoking.

David

Heather

Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Heather » Sat Sep 27, 2014 9:41 am

Thanks Stephen and David, I appreciate you commenting. Don't think too much, it's just a bit of whimsy.



When I wrote it, it was arranged like so:

Tomorrow is a promise, it’s the gossip in the air;
it’s the ink upon the nib, it’s the near but never there.

Tomorrow is a promise, it’s a taste upon the tongue;
it’s the love beyond our reach, it’s a song we haven't sung.

Do you think it makes a difference?


Heather :)

Neville Briggs
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Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:02 am

Heather wrote:it's just a bit of whimsy.
Now cut that out !! :lol:
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

Heather

Re: Tomorrow Is A Promise

Post by Heather » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:04 am

What do you mean? I'd like to be whimsical. Or do you think it is deep and meaningful? It's a bit of both I suppose.

:D

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