A TASK FOR HOLMES

[Jeff Thorpe]

A subject I reckon we've all had some experience with

"A Task for Holmes"

Are they just mischievous or victims of foul play,
whatever is the reason, this case won't go away.
I speak about the mystery where one sock in a pair
suddenly goes AWOL while we are unaware.
It happens time and time again, it's really quite bizarre,
and almost every week I bid at least one au revoir.

A sorry situation which I'm sure we've all been through
but, the question must be answered, just what are we to do?
Sherlock wherefore art thou, we want investigation
of this peculiar circumstance that's causing aggravation.
Where would he start looking, I would'nt envy him,
it's not a task you'd undertake purely on a whim.

What clues are there to start on, any prints in the sock drawer,
signs of any getaway apparent on the floor,
cats that look suspicious, birds appearing sly,
dogs behaving oddly, won't look you in the eye,
could it be some cunning mice, largely out of sight
nicking half our socks to use as blankets of a night.

Holmes, you'll have your work cut out, perhaps you'll snag a vibe
to lead you to a smart light fingered one legged tribe.
Maybe you'll need Watson, his presence complementary
but, even then I doubt you'll find analysis elementary.
Rank this issue urgent, the place where it belongs,
otherwise the populace will soon be wearing thongs.

Jeff Thorpe April 2011

[Zondrae]

G'day Jeff,

I know where they are! They are at my sister-in-laws place. She's a funny girl. Whenever I used to come for an extended visit. I would catch up on her ironing for her and pair up the odd socks. She used to collect all the 'odd' ones every wash and put them in a pillow slip, on top of the ironing basket. I like ironing so to repay her for putting up with my long visits I would iron for her. Funny but when I was finished pairing them, there were very few that were left odd. It seemed to me that they simply went into the washing machine at different times.

I don't have odd socks! Why? Because I refuse to wash a sock inless it's mate is present. Then I hang them side by side on the line and fold them together as I take them off the line. I know, I know, but it is the Libra in me. And no, I'm not obsessive/compulsive. When I had two kids and a husband who all wore white shirts and socks to school/work, I had to devise a method of order. I still used to get "Muuuuummmm, I've got no socks!" I would answer by yelling back.. 'ask your brother/sister for a pair. Yes there was a difference. On buying new socks (each person had a colour code) I would sew a tiny patch of stitches, like a poker dot on each sock, so I knew who they belonged to. I also knew who was hoarding dirty socks under their bed.

[Jeff Thorpe]

Hello Zondrae

You certainly sound more organised than our household. A least with our children now adult and having left "home", we only have four feet to accommodate with socks.
Actually, a friend has told me this poem struck a chord with her as her dog of eleven years has had a few vet. visits after chewing socks.

G'day Tom

Still churning over your question. Will get back to you

Cheers Jeff

[Heather]

Very amusing Jeff. It's a conspiracy obviously!

Heather

[Jeff Thorpe]

Hi Heather

Something like that. Happens too often otherwise.

Regards, Jeff

[Jeff Thorpe]

What have I started?

Jeff

[noelcauser]

Jeff. I have a whole drawer full of holey socks which my wife says,. There's the needle, there's the darn. Go for it.Whats a man to do?

[Bob Pacey]

They make great polish cloths if you can stand the smell.


Bob

[Heather]

Bob haven't you heard of a WASHING MACHINE?

[Bob Pacey]

A washing ma WHAT !!!!

You have to know all those cycles rinses and things much better just to buy new stuff when it get dirty.


Easy to get into your jeans when they stand up on their own.




Robert

Hey how long do I have to stay in this bloody corner missed all the footy and I'm running out of rum.