The Crowd

[Neville Briggs]

THE CROWD

The shop had those sugary lollies for sale and
I knew that those lollies were bad for your teeth.
I noticed the crowd that indulged appetites.

They indulged appetites,
so I followed the crowd.

I should have attended to lessons at school,
but a crowd of the students despised discipline;
by acting the fool they disdained getting wisdom.

They disdained getting wisdom,
yet I followed the crowd.

The crowd was devoted to popular music;
that cult of the bland and banal repetition.
The crowd knew the words and would dance to the beat.

They would dance to the beat,
and I followed the crowd.

I saw how important it is to have money.
With money, the crowd gets the things that they want;
the possessions you have will define what you are.

They define what you are,
so I follow the crowd.

The crowd watches TV and goes to the movies.
Deceitful and violent images feed
the minds of the crowd that is hostile to truth.

They are hostile to truth,
but I follow the crowd.

I once saw a man who was different to us;
he thought and he spoke and he acted uncommon.
" Away with him, kill him ! " The crowd hated him.

The crowd hated him;
I too followed the crowd.

[Maureen K Clifford]

Well said Neville - of course it's bush poetry Marty how many sheep do you see in the city?

Sheep are not as stupid as people think they are .

Sheep are not as stupid as people. Think they are?

Sheep are not as stupid as people think. They are!!

So which is right????? Sheep are not stupid, though I am sure I have mentioned this before.

[Heather]

Very thought provoking Neville. It takes a strong person not to go with the crowd.

Heather

[william williams]

A lot of Polititions are like Judas sheep people follow them and get fleeced

Bill the old battler

[manfredvijars]

... ahhh, we the 'sheeple' ... well said Nevie ...

[Neville Briggs]

Thanks for the replies Marty, Heather, Maureen, Bill and Manfred.

I hope bush poetry isn't established by " strict rules" Marty, unless that is strict rules of syntax and grammar, spelling and punctuation. Feel free to point out my deficiencies there, I'll see to it.

If you are criticizing the content and form, ....

I think the issues and theme are recognizable to any Australian.

The structure of the verse is in ternary metre, so it is metred ( anapestic or dactylic, I'm not sure which )

I've stretched the friendship a bit with rhyme but not discarded it. Rhyme is a sort of echo effect of repeated sounds, so I have used some repeated phrases to make the echo effect instead of the usual end rhymes.

I'm just trying to find ways to extend the metre and rhyming possibilities, and attempting to learn how to use heightened language to hopefully see the commonplace things afresh.

So much to learn, so little time

[Bob Pacey]

Me thinks Neville is trying to pull the WOOL over our eyes.


I'm with you Marty


Bob

[Leonie]

I've said on so many occasions that my preferences are for rhyme, I have even gone so far as to say that if I am honest I would have to admit that I really believe that if it don't rhyme it ain't poetry ... but .. every now and then one comes along that throws that out the window. This is one of those times. I really like this Neville.

Now if only all non-rhyming poetry was as good as this and I didn't have to wade through piles of crap to find the occasional gem I might be inclined to change my point of view, and yeah I get that the repetition is a sort of rhyme, and maybe that's why I like it so much, but it isn't 'really' a rhyme. Is it??

[Terry]

Certainly different Neville, but well written none the less.

Terry

[manfredvijars]

... it does have good metre AND doesn't rhyme
I'm sure there's a valid (non-disparaging) term for that out there somewhere ...