Musing.... from croc (via Glenny)

[manfredvijars]

WARNING!! Definitely X RATED - (Now cleaned).

A poem by croc (his idea of a loveletter). He's been fighting with a new pc, in a caravan, in a cattle field, in the twilight zone.

Read on...if you dare,

Glenny
________________________________________

Musing....
© 2011 croc

Musing....
I have written you a letter... which I have, for want of better
knowledge, sent it to your Bigpond email... three times in a row.
I was striving when I wrote it and verbatim I can’t quote it,
but the facts and matters written, will be known by those who know.

All the three of them directed, in a f*** up unexpected,
by the kindly man who writes the drives and runs the bloody show.
And he’s writing yet I know it... but connections, updates blow it;
so the f***ers never leave the box... ain’t that the bloody go

In my wild and p***ed orf humour, I can ideate the tumour
that is sitting in a glass lined orfice drinking S.O.P.
They toast fame, our men of learning, while consumers wail in yearning
for the old stuff back and running; oh how easy could it be.

Complications by the number from downloading while you slumber
in the arms of Morpheus and dreaming installs are all good.
Then you wake and stand there wailing as the downloads, ever failing,
drop their bundles, seize the system, turn the p/c into wood.

I am sat in all my glory in the bush, can’t tell my story,
for the interactive ‘Techno’ sh** has failed me; oh the pain.
Seems like someone ever humble went and left a Telstra bundle
on the open net for all to see... and copy...once again.

Me and Google, we aren’t talking... I can’t phone a cab, I’m walking
to the shop that sells the software ‘remedalis nilph**wurk.’
They say, ‘Product can’t be finer, made by eager men in china,
but it no work better, download speed too weak and low you burk.

And the bastard’s programme daunts me, and their sh**house software haunts me
as the downloads trickle softly down the inside of the case.
With their eager hands so greedy taking money from the needy
and the poor addicted gamers, who no longer stand the pace

No I couldn’t bloody fancy chasing after trendy Nancy
in her viral ridden orfice where her viral sh**’s unfurled.
While I sit back pleasure driving, I’d but like to see her striving
trying hard to make the download, Nancy of the viral world

[Bob Pacey]

And that was the cleaned up version Glenny even made me blush cause I hate the F word.




Bob

[Glenny Palmer]

Well Bob, our croc always calls a spade a spade.....until he trips over one.

Hope you're going goodo mate.
Cheeers
Glenny
PS the 'uncleaned' one is on my Facebook....oh dear. My Mother would spin in her grave.

[David J Delaney]

G'day Glenny, I know exactly how croc is feeling...grrrrrrr!! love the poem eh!

[Glenny Palmer]

Yeah G'daay David. The whole idea was to get up some instant 'chat' thing to save on phone bills, & we both thought that viral ridden 'Live Messenger' was it. His signal strength is very intermittent (I've ordered a flamin aerial since) & the process was enough to send me homicidal, but for him it was extremely trying. Every time a bird flew over he lost his connection....to the i/net that is...he regularly loses his rational 'connection' when things go wrong, but that's another story. Then I discovered good old Google Talk & it's a breeze! And, I'd hazard, much safer than the bling bling one. So....next cab off the rank was to get G/Talk IN & all the other cr*p OUT without destroying the Registry......we 'chatted' goodnight at about flamin 4am today. And so that's how he's spent the last 4 days. (I'm awfully glad I was here & not there.)
I reckon we all know exactly how he felt, eh?

Anyway....glad you enjoyed.

Cheeers
Glenny

[Dave Smith]

Loved It Glenny, I'm a bit off telstra meself.

One day I'm gunna have to meet that bloke of yours.

Cheers Dave.

[croc]

Er... right-o... well that one was never actually intended for anyone other than Glenny... but it is there with my permission, of curse – er, course . I was pi.. er upset at the time about all the dodgy bling on the p/c, software that put more bugs in than it ever took out, no bread or water, damp tobacco and even damper bloody papers to roll it in, ( I was doing a Wills and Burke.)... the place is a bog of mung beans and cow sh... er manure -- yeah, Glenny would comprehend all that from just a few lines of an adaption from Clancy of the O... the wet has kicked orf in Central Queensland. If I didn’t have 4wd I would be stuck. Literally. I have the caravan parked up in some old cattle yards where blokes store cattle every now and then. They appear and I pump water up to them from the bore and then they disappear and I stop the pump. It’s simple. I have a power lead from an outlet over the cattle dip. Snakes and mossies were here first and I try to get along with them ...and most other things, except cane toads. I reckon David Attenborough would be hard pressed to identify those things that sort of slime their way round the bottom of the cattle dip. I have an Alsatian dog that visits occasionally; the only visitor.
Old mate from the other side of the creek has a butchery business and I get real meat... not the stuff ‘the others’ eat. ( I won’t have a dig at the townies today) The only great thing about our Australian cities is that it keeps the buggars who live in them out of my paddock. (Couldn’t help it, it just slipped out.) He has a special breed of pigs called Celestial pigs that he cures for bacon and pork, and his beef stock are from the same genetic lineage... Celestial beefstock.. His chooks are white leg horn Celestial chooks... all from the same lineage Try this... Take a big slice of home kill bacon, or a sizeable rib eye fillet, and spread it with peanut butter and then get stuck in and aerial top-dress it with the pepper grinder... leave the salt alone, it will be your ruination. Stick it to one side so it comes up to room temp and in the meantime fry some large potato rings in oil thats had a clove of garlic crushed into it. Stick a sliced down the middle carrot in and some broccoli... whatever... roast the veg in the fry pan.

When it’s all good with the veg, drop the meat into the hot oil, seal both sides and turn the heat down a tad. Let the meat cook reasonably slowly. When the meat is cooked, drop a couple of fresh farm eggs... old mate from the other side of the creek’s eggs, not this yellow jelly in transparent jelly that some bloody tow... no I won’t do it... proper fresh farm eggs, and fry them in the p/butter and pepper oil that’s had a bit of garlic to it. That’s what it’s all about. Try it and tell me that it wasn’t just the bees knees. Savoury omelettes are real good if you drain a can of peaches and tip the fruit round the omelette and really get going over the fruit with the pepper grinder... no salt. Sweet black billy tea goes well with it. A bit of damper if you have any left over... if it’s stale whack it in the frypan and deal to it that way. Great stuff. I haven’t made a damper for a while because we have had a fire ban on around these parts. Dry as the hobs of hell for about 11 months. The fire danger was to high to jump over, but its dropped a lot since the last two days have been wet. I am earning a quid, so slowly that the inflation rate makes it useless by the time I get it.
Time to go and stick the billy on...
Go safe and well mates...
...croc

[croc]

Eh... who put that sig there... it weren't me. Bloody no matter how good your dispo is you want to try running out of tobacco on Sat afternoon when the nearest shop is a 100k round trip...
mumble mumnle...
...croc

[croc]

How quick is the 'quick reply'... lets see. ...c

[croc]

no quicker than the other method...