Here’s the one Heather...

This section contains archival material from former Forum users.
Membership forms: http://www.abpa.org.au/membership.html
Post Reply
croc

Here’s the one Heather...

Post by croc » Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:42 am

Here’s the one Heather...

A hundred head of bony bovine stock appeared today,
I saw them when I turned in through the gate;
the rains had poured, the grass was green and they had loads of hay,
...it must be they have massive thirsts to sate.

Now dehydration’s wicked ways will force a bony frame,
but why... because the rains had just gone through;
it wasn’t easy, standing there, just where to place the blame
when none out of a hundred’s fit for stew.

They didn’t eat, they didn’t drink, they stood with heads hung low
they coughed a bit and breathed each others dust;
and every beast just looked like death, and in flew one fat crow
but not one died... much to the crows disgust.

So as a country bloke I thought ‘what else could cause this grief’,
then all at once the searching mind explodes;
the answer’s in a drenching and the cure’s rather brief
... the bloody lot are full of nematodes.
Copyright ...croc

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 8153
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:29 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Neville Briggs
Posts: 6946
Joined: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:08 pm
Location: Here

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by Neville Briggs » Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:40 am

I like that Croc. Some very good lines. The first two lines are especially good with a strong beat that sort of grips the attention of the reader.
The first line is a bit alliterated and contrasts with the second line which sounds to me very plain and no frills. I think that gives a very good poetic effect.

And there are other good lines.

I think the length of the poem is suitable for the theme, we get the picture without any waffle. Good on ya.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.

User avatar
Glenny Palmer
Posts: 1816
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:47 am

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by Glenny Palmer » Sat Jan 21, 2012 4:26 pm

.........croc HATES 'waffle'...... :cry:

(He calls mine *@!! 'embroidery'.)
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

Heather

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by Heather » Tue Jan 31, 2012 2:46 pm

I can see them now croc. I once had a cow like that - skin and bone - thought she was on her last legs. A good drenching and she picked up and lived many more years.

croc

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by croc » Tue Jan 31, 2012 6:37 pm

G'day Heather...
Yeah... that's probably what's wrong with me.
...c

David J Delaney

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by David J Delaney » Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:38 pm

croc wrote:G'day Heather...
Yeah... that's probably what's wrong with me.
...c

:lol: :lol: Mmmm!!...searching, searching..now where did I put that probe... :lol: :lol:

Heather

Re: Here’s the one Heather...

Post by Heather » Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:55 am

Dave what sort of a farm are you running? He only needs a drench! :lol:

Post Reply